by Jennifer | Feb 24, 2021 | Blog |
Something hasn’t been right since I drained the fluid from my lung on Saturday. When I talked to the doctor on Monday, I said I would monitor it at home and get back to him on Wednesday if it had not improved.
A wet cough woke me up quite a few times last night, even sleeping elevated. We drained the fluid from my lung again this morning and there was not much improvement after doing that. So we talked to the oncology nurse and then packed up and headed to the ER so they could do a CT and try to figure out why my breathing is so labored. I am getting enough oxygen, it is just very uncomfortable.
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by Jennifer | Feb 25, 2021 | Blog |
I have been so discouraged lately that today I’m going to write an entire post on things I am thankful for.
I’m thankful for the Lord and that He is always with me.
I am thankful for my church and the Godly leadership of our pastors and elders. I am thankful for the support from our church family even though I am not able to be there in person right now. It’s hard to believe that we have only been there once since covid started. I miss worshipping with our church family every week. I pray that one day I will be physically strong enough to sit in a chair for the duration of the service and that I will be comfortable enough being inside a room where many people are close together and are not wearing masks.
I am thankful for our parents and their love and support throughout the good and the bad times in our lives.
I am thankful for my husband. He is an amazing Godly man. He is a wonderful supportive husband that would do anything for me. He is a great father to our three children and one fur baby. He is a man of integrity and I believe that stands out to others in his job. He has a fantastic work ethic and will do whatever he needs to, to get his job done to the best of his ability. I recorded this video about how my husband inspires me about 5 1/2 years ago. I teared up when I watched it again, but I mean every single word of it.
I am thankful for our three children and the joy they bring to my life.
I’m thankful for my sister-in-law and the friendship we are developing by video chatting every week.
I’m thankful for our extended family and the wonderful memories we have made over the years and will continue to make in years to come.
I am thankful for my friends. So many of them seem like family right now. I am ready for covid to be over so I can see them and hug them again!!
I am thankful for my lungs and that I can breathe! It’s not always as comfortable as I would like it to be, but I am getting enough oxygen for my body to be alive.
I am thankful for my heart that is beating. Even though it is beating fast, it’s doing its job and I am alive.
I am thankful that Oliver is doing better today after his shots on Tuesday. Our poor little guy has been hurting so much and limping around for the last day and a half. This morning he is running around like a maniac so he must be feeling better. I am thankful for that.
I am thankful for the many meals that have been provided for us and will be provided for us in the future. I am thankful that that gives Tom a break a few nights a week.
I am thankful that we are going to start having someone come in and clean our house again every other week! I am very thankful for the burden this will take off of Tom.
I am thankful for our beautiful home and thankful for wisdom from the Lord 11 years ago that led us to buy a one-story home. I am so thankful I don’t have to worry about climbing stairs to get to our bedroom.
I am thankful for my medical team that is working to keep me alive and as comfortable as long as possible. They are some of the most kind and caring people I have ever met.
I am thankful for God’s provision for our family through my husband’s job and for the good medical insurance it provides for us.
I am thankful for a wonderful school district and for caring teachers that have had to learn a whole new way of teaching this year because of covid.
I am thankful for technology and the ways it keeps us connected and makes our lives easier (at least most of the time when it’s working properly.)
I am thankful for my adjustable base bed and for my recliner that both give me comfortable places to sit or lay at home.
I am thankful for streaming services online that entertain me.
I am thankful for my Kindle and the few authors that I have found recently whose books I have enjoyed reading.
I am thankful for modern medicine that is helping keep me alive and as pain-free as possible.
Lastly, I am thankful that my breathing has not gotten any worse since yesterday. I am thankful that I don’t feel pressure on my chest anymore and that my wet cough has gone away. Now we just wait and see if the antibiotics can help my shortness of breath when I start to talk or do anything.
I’m sure there are many more things I could write, but that’s a pretty big list that I came up with today. I have so much to be thankful for.
by Jennifer | Mar 1, 2021 | Blog |
I have said a few times I would write a post about what’s been going on in my mind. Those are the hardest posts to write because I feel so vulnerable as I share what I’m dealing with. I don’t want people to judge me or think badly of me. However, when I started this blog, I said I would be open and transparent about this journey, so I can’t leave out one of my biggest struggles.
I hope and pray that by being honest and sharing what I am struggling with, it will in some way encourage someone else and help them know they are not alone. I also know that not everyone who reads this blog believes what I do about God. Even if you don’t believe in God at all, will you consider reading the rest of this post? It would mean a lot to me.
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by Jennifer | Mar 2, 2021 | Blog |
My palliative care doctor arranged to have physical therapy come out to our house once a week for 4 weeks to help me try and get some strength back in my legs. My legs have felt very weak for a while, and right now, I can’t squat or kneel down and get back up on my own.
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by Jennifer | Mar 5, 2021 | Blog |
PT – is on hold until the therapist talks to the Dr. as I was having a lot of back and hip pain after doing the exercises just 2 times.
I have a bone scan scheduled for the end of March. There’s always something to look forward to!
Our bi-weekly housecleaning started today. I know Tom is thankful to not have to clean this weekend!
I find myself wanting to hide out and be alone more and more. We just went up on the dosage of my antidepressant. I’m hoping that will help.
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by Jennifer | Mar 8, 2021 | Blog |
I feel like I might sound like a broken record.
Anxiety.
It’s horrible.
I’m really struggling with it, most of the day, everyday.
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by Jennifer | Mar 15, 2021 | Blog |
Another day at the infusion center…a long day….an hour longer than normal.
It started with waiting 15 minutes to get a room.
Then another 15 to see my nurse.
Then my first port access didn’t feel right, almost like saline was just going in my body and not in the vein through the port. Something was definitely not right! So I was poked again.
Then blood was drawn. She realized 10 minutes later she needed more for an additional test. Not a big deal, just more time.
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by Jennifer | Mar 21, 2021 | Blog |
The CT results from the radiologist were in My Chart about an hour after I got home on Wednesday. I didn’t need to Google anything to get the jist of it. The cancer has spread.
We talked to my oncologist on Friday afternoon to make sure we understood it correctly and to talk about treatment options.
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by Jennifer | Mar 26, 2021 | Blog |
My bone scan results showed what we knew…more growth. Some new growth in my tailbone are, which explains the new pain I have been having.
In other news…we are not going to Hawaii for a few reasons, but the main one being that every activity is based around water and I have a tube coming out of my body and can’t get in water.
So we are going to Disney World, which was our first choice anyways! We booked a 10 day trip and are staying at the Coronado Springs Resort. We booked a casita that has a separate living room so we’ll have plenty of room to rent the recliner or bed I need.
We will go with no expectations except to have fun as a family. I will do what I can and rest as I need to. We will rent a wheel chair and they can take turns pushing me around. Tom and I will be flying in first class and the girls in coach.
So that’s what’s going on. We leave in 2 weeks. The girls need a lot clothes and are excited to shop together. Thanks to those of you who have offered to take them shopping, but they are fine going on their own (and have asked to).
This is a big trip and I’m so excited. Well be moving slowly, but it will still be fun. Please pray we all stay healthy. We are going to keep to ourselves as much as possible for the next couple weeks to help with that!
Will you especially be praying for my emotions on this trip? I never know what little thing is going to hit me. Tonight we were going through all the shoes we had and it looks like all 3 of our girls all wear a size 9 shoe. We’ve always been curious which one will end up being taller. Then I realized I probably will not be alive to see who is the tallest as Ashley is still only 11. I started crying. Why couldn’t I get cancer when the girls were older? I am going to miss out on so much!
by Jennifer | Mar 31, 2021 | Blog |
My lower back and tail bone are really hurting and have been for the past few days. I had to go up on my pain meds which I hate to do, but have to right now.
Please pray that the pain will calm down as the extra pain medicine makes me very drowsy.
Tomorrow, a wheelchair we ordered will be delivered. It reclines and so we are hoping that I might be able to sleep in it as well. I will keep you posted on that.
