I’m sorry you found my blog.
HA! What a funny thing to say on a blog!! But seriously, if you landed here, you either know me, or know someone that has cancer. That’s why I’m sorry!
I hate that word.
I remember sitting in the oncologist’s office in my early 20’s listening to the Dr. tell me that while it was not likely I would get Ocular Melanoma like my Mom, 3 out of 4 people would be diagnosed with some sort of cancer in their life. Since all of my Grandparents and my Mom have died of some type of cancer, I knew my day would come. I just never thought my diagnosis would be the day after my 41st birthday and as a mother of a 10, 7 and 6 year old.
Fast forward 4 years (October 2019) and the cancer has returned in other bones. So here we are, ready to fight again…and looking to be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life.
This blog is my journey as I fight to leave cancer behind and move on in my life.
I should probably back up and introduce myself . . . my name is Jennifer. I’m a Christ follower, married to an amazing man (who happens to be a chef turned COO of a restaurant), have 3 beautiful daughters and I’ve been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer which originally spread to my sternum, but has now spread to quite a few other bones as well.
I know it can be confusing when you stumble upon a new blog, so let me help you get started.
- I have a blog to keep track of my thoughts and to let friends and family know what’s going on.
- You can get to know our family or read my personal testimony here.
- As I’ve been going through different procedures, I’ve written down what it was like. You can find a list of those over in the side bar (or down at the bottom if you are on a mobile device).
- Click here to receive an email when I publish new posts.
- And finally, if you noticed above that I’m married to a chef and think that must be the MOST AMAZING THING EVER, click here and browse through my blog about what it’s really like to be married to a chef. (I love blogging. Can you tell?)
Here’s what’s going on with me right now . . .
Made the mistake of letting too much time pass between pain meds. I won’t be doing that again! I was feeling good and enjoying not feeling so drugged up. 🤣read more…
Tom took me to the oncologist today and we have a pain plan to manage all the sores in my mouth and on my lips (which he believes are from radiation). I am thankful to have a plan!read more…
Quick update tonight – Side effects hit hard this morning when I woke up. My tongue, lips and throat are pretty swollen and because my mouth was so dry I was having a little trouble breathing. I was able to get that under control by drinking, but I will be honest, it scared me a little bit.read more…
Today was day 7 of radiation and tomorrow is my last day. Around day 5 which was supposed to be the middle of radiation, my throat started hurting already, and feeling very tight and constricted. It was a pretty scary thing to wake up to in the middle of the night as my mind just went crazy with thoughts of future pain.
I asked the doctor if there was any chance we could cut the radiation short by two days. I explained that the pain in my arm was gone. And most of the pain in my back and my neck was gone. Something must have been pinched in that one area of my neck!read more…
Sometimes it’s the little things you have to get excited about, like sitting up and watching silly YouTube videos with your family for 2 hours.
I really wish I knew what was causing this nausea. It was really hard emotionally to see my family walk out the door to church this morning without me. I was too weak to even get out of bed this morning for more than just a minute or two and ended up throwing up while they were gone, even with anti nausea medicine. I am now doubled up with two anti nausea medicines and we will see how that goes. At least I was able to get out of bed and spend a little time with my family. I even folded a load of towels and put some dirty clothes in the washing machine. Wow. I feel so productive. 🙂
I’ve written two blog posts and deleted them both because they just sounded like complaining and I don’t want to come across that way.
So tonight I will just say my body is pretty unhappy with everything I’ve done to it this week. Chemo pill, IV medication, shot, and radiation are all a bit much to handle right now and I’m struggling. At this point if I was just living with the cancer I would be feeling much better than trying to fight it. I’m not ready to stop fighting, but I’m pretty overwhelmed by side effects right now. I did get a stronger anti-nausea medicine today, so hopefully I can keep dinner down tonight. 🤢
In my last post about radiation and the decision to do it, I left out one big part….our cruise, which leaves February 15th. With radiation starting on Wednesday and ending on February 11th, that doesn’t give me much time to heal before getting on the ship. We talked about many different scenarios, none of which were good. The thought of canceling was horrible. The thought of Tom and the girls without me was horrible. Our original booking had Tom and Sage in one room and Molly, Ashley and I in another. When I called yesterday to find out cancellation options, I found out that the 3 girls can be in a room together since we would be right next door. That is a game changer for me – being able to be in a room with Tom! We decided as that as long as I can physically walk on the plane on the 14th, I am going! If I’m going to miserable, might as well be miserable on a brand new cruise ship. 🙂 The radiation oncologist said there was no reason I couldn’t go, but that I might be miserable. So miserable or not, I’m going. It’s the best option. It gives me something to look forward to and something to fight (and swallow, drink and eat) for. It’s amazing how that can help your outlook on life. 🙂read more…