Toni, one of the nurses I had the privilege of working with, came in to check my chemo, give us a high five and took time to take a picture with me.
My infusion was uneventful again, which I’m thankful for. I slept through part of it which made the time pass by fast. Tom and I went to lunch at MOD Pizza and then I came home and laid down. I’m tired, but feeling fine.
Over the past 4 1/2 months, I’ve done a pretty good job of physically hiding the true “look” of chemo. There were only a few days I didn’t put makeup on and I hid my hair or lack there of, with a hat and a wig. The friends and family that helped in our home, saw me without a hat, but whenever I went out of the house, my head was covered. Besides Tom and the girls, Christy and Sarah are the only ones who saw the true chemo “look” as they were at our home in early morning before I got ready. Until today . . .
Today, I thought I’d make a short video and show you all the faces of chemo. With all the poison being pumped into your body during chemo, it’s only natural that it takes a toll on your physical appearance. I’ve never been one to leave the house without makeup, and during chemo was no exception. I did everything I could to physically hide that I was sick.
This is the first Wednesday in a long time I haven’t had to get up and go to chemo. So instead, I’m sitting/laying around in my bathrobe. I wish I could say I’ve been celebrating the past few days, but the side effects from my last dose of chemo hit me really hard starting Monday afternoon. So hard, that I had a to cancel a fun night out with friends and had to call on a friend and my aunt at the last minute to help, because I was so nauseous and weak, I couldn’t take care of the kids and Tom was working and out of town. I’m out of bed today, but still not able to do much. What a nice reminder about how horrible chemo really is! 🙁 Boo!! Glad it’s over!!
It’s Friday evening and I’m still waiting to feel like I’m done with chemo. 🙂 I’m not complaining (at least not much), just stating the facts.
Each day gets a little better. This morning was the first morning since Monday I was up and dressed in the morning. I guess that’s progress. I spent the morning working on a website for Tom’s restaurant group, which allowed me to sit on the couch. Tonight we have a fun family movie night planned, which will again, allow me to sit down. I’m up doing something, get tired really fast, and then am back down. But at least I can do a little around the house!
I guess I thought my energy would come back faster. But as Tom pointed out, not only did I not get chemo on Wed., I also did not get all the pre-meds (including the steroid which usually gives me a boost of energy).
Quick post tonight to ask for prayer . . .
Tom has a very bad case of the flu. He is quarantined to our room and the main bathroom. I’m wearing a mask when I go in to take him food and drinks. I’m washing my hands and using hand sanitizer CONSTANTLY. Please pray I can stay healthy.
When I talked to the oncologist on-call today, she said what I was doing was good. She also asked about my white blood count, which thankfully was not a concern at my last chemo. She said that was good as well and to keep doing what I was doing. I’m glad she didn’t say to move out for a few days!
Oh my goodness…I can’t believe I met with a plastic surgeon today. Ha! The conversation that went on was so strange and foreign to me as the thought of plastic surgery, for any part of my body, has never even crossed my mind.
Anyways . . .
It was long appointment – paperwork, video to watch and then meeting with the Dr. The plan for now is to start reconstruction on the day of surgery with a tissue expander. Then after recovery from surgery, we’ll start slowly filling that up to the right level. Then that will be removed and an implant inserted (which will be another short surgery). After hearing all the options, we felt that is the best one for my situation.
The plastic surgeon also does surgeries on Thursdays, so it looks like we are still on for April 14th.
I think we are all starting to feel better, finally. 3 of us have coughs which will be around for a while and I’m still pretty weak feeling and get tired easily. But overall, we are doing much better, finally!!
As I think back on my life before diagnosis, I have no idea how I did it all (cleaning, cooking, laundry,taking care of the girls, volunteering in the classroom, serving at church, etc.) I’m still not doing much cooking or cleaning and feel like I’m barely keep up with things. Maybe one day . . . but for now, thank you to everyone who continues to help us!! We really appreciate it.
I’ve been doing really well, not letting fear getting the best of me the past few weeks. Tonight has been a little harder. It started off looking for a picture of one of the girls when tears began to fall. I’m not sure why pictures triggered my emotions, but they did. Then I spent about 20 minutes in our office with Tom on the piano and me calling out songs for him to play. More tears then. I love this man so much. Then listening to the kids play and Tom laugh. Next listening to Tom play the piano again and the kids sing. I’m just a ball of emotions. . . tears coming and going.
Not knowing what the future holds is so difficult. I know that I’ve really never known what the future holds, but waiting for this scan on Thursday and then the results the next day to see what the next months of our lives are going to look is really hard.
Yet in the midst of all the tears, I look to the weened. I think of Christ on the cross, taking the punishment for my sins. I think of God’s grace, which I do not deserve. I think of the resurrection and what it must have been like for his followers to see the empty tomb. More tears . . . Different, but still tears. It’s really overwhelming to think that he did all that for (us).
Thanks for praying for my scan this morning. I slept well (with the exception of one coughing attack late last night). I had no trouble with my blood sugar, my port was cooperative and they only had to redo one small part of the scan because I must have moved my nose. Apparently in the scan she could see 3 noses. Oops!
While I was waiting an hour for the radioactive stuff to move around my body, I read my Bible passages for the day (I’m reading through the Bible in a year) and listened to Pandora. A couple songs that came on while I was sitting there resting were absolutely perfect and just what I needed. (more…)
I slept well last night and was at peace as we walked into the doctor’s office. (Although I did tear up as Tom and I prayed before we went into the office.) Thank you to everyone who was praying for this!
Talking with the Dr. this morning, he asked how I was doing. I told him about my cough that’s annoying and won’t go away. His response after listening to me breathe was, “I don’t think we need to treat it with antibiotics since your lungs didn’t show an infection and since your scan was good.”
“Wait. It was good? How good is good?”
“As good as we could have hoped for.”
Sigh of relief! Praise God!
Meet JenniferBreast Cancer Patient, Chef Wife and Mom
