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It’s that time of year again…time for a scan.  A PET scan to be exact.

I am so thankful I blogged throughout this journey, as I’ve been able to go back and see how I was feeling last year before my scan and remind myself that I did, in fact, survive Scanxiety 1.0 twelve months ago, and I’m sure I will survive Scanxiety 2.0 this week.

As I read back on what I was feeling a year ago, I am feeling pretty much the same way…anxious thoughts…pray…repeat…anxious thoughts….ouch my back is hurting again…pray…etc.

So the back pain is back (boo!!!!!) and that was not around last year, but the same anxious thoughts about the scan results are back.  I felt perfectly fine when I was diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer.  I feel fine now (with the exception of the herneated disc).  So where does that leave me?  Trusting that God is control and will be with us no matter what the outcome is of the scan and remembering that worrying doesn’t help AT ALL!!

As I was hugging my husband a few minutes ago, I was wishing we could just jump ahead a week and that it was next Sunday…the scan would be over…we would know the results…and we could move on.  Not knowing is hard.  Guess I will be working on patience and contentment this week.

The scan in on Wednesday.  We meet with my oncologist on Friday to get the results.  I’m looking forward to seeing my husband more this week…yeah for dates at the doctors office right??

In the midst of the scanxiety, I am greeted with pink ribbons everywhere.  October is not a fun month to be out and about if you have had breast cancer.  The pink everywhere is a reminder that I’m part of this “club” that I never wanted to join.  Don’t get me wrong…I am very thankful for all the research.  But the pink EVERYWHERE is a constant reminder of the battle I am still fighting.  And while the battle is more in my mind than physical body right now, it is still a battle.

I’ll post on Wednesday after the scan.  Until then, please pray with us for God’s will…cancer or no cancer.  Thanks friends!

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