I’m sorry you found my blog.
HA! What a funny thing to say on a blog!! But seriously, if you landed here, you either know me, or know someone that has cancer. That’s why I’m sorry!
Cancer.
I hate that word.
I remember sitting in the oncologist’s office in my early 20’s listening to the Dr. tell me that while it was not likely I would get Ocular Melanoma like my Mom, 3 out of 4 people would be diagnosed with some sort of cancer in their life. Since all of my Grandparents and my Mom have died of some type of cancer, I knew my day would come. I just never thought my diagnosis would be the day after my 41st birthday and as a mother of a 10, 7 and 6 year old.
Fast forward 4 years (October 2019) and the cancer has returned in other bones. So here we are, ready to fight again…and looking to be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life.
This blog is my journey as I fight to leave cancer behind and move on in my life.
I should probably back up and introduce myself . . . my name is Jennifer. I’m a Christ follower, married to an amazing man (who happens to be a chef turned Co-CEO of a restaurant), have 3 beautiful daughters and I’ve been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer which originally spread to my sternum, but has now spread to quite a few other bones and one of my lungs as well.
I know it can be confusing when you stumble upon a new blog, so let me help you get started.
- I have a blog to keep track of my thoughts and to let friends and family know what’s going on.
- You can get to know our family or read my personal testimony here.
- As I’ve been going through different procedures, I’ve written down what it was like. You can find a list of those over in the side bar (or down at the bottom if you are on a mobile device).
- Click here to receive an email when I publish new posts.
- And finally, if you noticed above that I’m married to a chef and think that must be the MOST AMAZING THING EVER, click here and browse through my blog about what it’s really like to be married to a chef. (I love blogging. Can you tell?)
Here’s what’s going on with me right now . . .
October 16, 2015
Friends who come by and pick up your curtains that need to be hemmed and hem them so your bedroom looks nicer, friends who carve pumpkins with your kids, a Dad who gives airline miles to a friend for a future trip up, flowers from college friends, a last minute meal when I was feeling overwhelmed, a breast cancer bracelet in the mail, lots of texts, blog comments and emails with verses and encouraging words, emails from total strangers who are willing to share their story with you and how God has used their journey with cancer to draw them closer to Him, a husband who gives up most of what little space is next to his side of the bed so you can be more comfortable . . . I am overwhelmed (in a good way).
Carving pumpkins with 6 kids on the driveway – I have one brave friend!!
I had trouble sleeping last night because it wasn’t comfortable to lay on either side. Hopefully that will change, but we’ll see. Also managed to pull a muscle in my lower back while up in the middle of the night. 🙁 Good times . . . happy to have pain meds and ibuprofen.
Port Surgery
It’s about 12:45 and I’m already home from having the port put in today.
Tom and I were up about 5:30am and he skipped out to Starbucks to enjoy his coffee so the smell would not torture me since I couldn’t have any!
We had a 7 am check-in time, so my sweet friend Amy sacrificed some sleep to be at our home at 6:15 and help get the girls up and ready for school. That’s early!! We prayed together, chatted about the morning and then Tom and I headed out.
During registration, a man came up to us and asked us if we were S’s parents. (Protecting the privacy of our girls on here. He obviously used her name.) Once he said that, I recognized him in his scrubs. James (who has 2 girls that are friends with our 10 year old,) works there and it was nice to see someone familiar, even though we have only met a couple times. He went into the surgical prep area ahead of us and told everyone he knew us and to take good care of me. So funny. Even the surgeon mentioned him!
I’m on an Adrenaline High
I had the pleasure yesterday of enjoying lunch with a sweet friend and then meeting one of my MOPS mentor moms who has previously been through breast cancer. She was so encouraging and had some great suggestions for dealing with chemo. Oh, and we talked about cruises. I’m ready to be back on a ship. Anyone want to join me?
Also, the news is out. . . Sent out a big email yesterday, posted on Facebook today, posted on my blog today. . . Sigh of relief.
Telling your Children you have Cancer
Telling your children you have cancer . . . Ugh!
I have been dreading this day since we first got the news. How in the world do you go about explaining everything that is going on to your 10, 7, and 6 year old? I remember hearing my parents tell me my Mom had cancer, but I was an adult. 🙁
We decided to wait to tell them until we knew as much as possible. So today was the day.
The day started off with many people praying for us as they knew we would be talking to the girls.
I took the younger two out to get doughnuts while my husband talked with our 10 year old. We figured it would be the hardest on her and she would have the most questions. We were right.
Final Diagnosis and Treatment Plan
Well I finally have a diagnosis, and unfortunately it’s not a good one. (Not that there is a good one. But if there was one, mine is definitely not one of them.)
I have Stage IV Breast Cancer. There are 3 tumors in my left breast, one of which is very large (5.6 cm) and then there are 2 smaller ones (2.2 cm and .7 cm). I also have an infected lymph node under my arm. It has also spread to my sternum and the PET scan shows a lovely pink glow in a small part of that bone on the right side. Because it has spread, there is no cure, but we will try and kill what’s there and when it comes back (which the Dr. said it will), we’ll try and kill it again.
I am having a port put in on Thursday and then will start chemo on October 21st. Sometime in the next couple weeks I’ll also need to have a heart test done, but that is not scheduled yet.
Back Home
It’s been a hard transition back to reality after being on vacation for almost 2 weeks. Yesterday I had my PET scan and was really sick because I couldn’t eat before the test. The test itself was not bad at all, but I’m glad it’s over and now just await the results of the test.
Back to Reality
Tonight it is back to reality! We got off the cruise ship yesterday and then went to Disneyland and California Adventure. I feel like the past 2 weeks have been a dream . . . A vacation that we most likely will not ever be able to duplicate again.
Lots of thoughts about the future and what it will be like . . .
- Has it spread?
- What will treatment be?
- Is the suit we bought for Tom to wear on the cruise the one he will wear to my funeral? (We both thought that).
Meet Jennifer
Breast Cancer Patient, Chef Wife and Mom
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