Well I finally have a diagnosis, and unfortunately it’s not a good one. (Not that there is a good one. But if there was one, mine is definitely not one of them.)
I have Stage IV Breast Cancer. There are 3 tumors in my left breast, one of which is very large (5.6 cm) and then there are 2 smaller ones (2.2 cm and .7 cm). I also have an infected lymph node under my arm. It has also spread to my sternum and the PET scan shows a lovely pink glow in a small part of that bone on the right side. Because it has spread, there is no cure, but we will try and kill what’s there and when it comes back (which the Dr. said it will), we’ll try and kill it again.
It just doesn’t seem real. Right now, I actually feel relieved and better than I have for the past week because at least now I know the diagnosis. Of course now that I have something specific to search on the internet that could change in an instant, but one day at a time.
I told my sweet friend Christina (in CA) today which was very difficult. She’s been there for me through every difficult stage of life and it was very hard to tell her over the phone. How I wish she was still living next door to me (for more reasons than just this).
Even standing in the parking lot at school telling another friend the news, it just doesn’t seem real. We just looked at each other just wondering how this is possible. It just seems like a bad dream.
We have a week and a half to get as organized as possible. We have already started talking about what kind of help we think we’ll need and we are going to get as organized as possible while I still feel good.
So that’s it for today. A small group of friends know. We’ll tell the girls on Sunday after church and then make a few phone calls and emails to let everyone know. Ready or not . . .