I’m sorry you found my blog.
HA! What a funny thing to say on a blog!! But seriously, if you landed here, you either know me, or know someone that has cancer. That’s why I’m sorry!
Cancer.
I hate that word.
I remember sitting in the oncologist’s office in my early 20’s listening to the Dr. tell me that while it was not likely I would get Ocular Melanoma like my Mom, 3 out of 4 people would be diagnosed with some sort of cancer in their life. Since all of my Grandparents and my Mom have died of some type of cancer, I knew my day would come. I just never thought my diagnosis would be the day after my 41st birthday and as a mother of a 10, 7 and 6 year old.
Fast forward 4 years (October 2019) and the cancer has returned in other bones. So here we are, ready to fight again…and looking to be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life.
This blog is my journey as I fight to leave cancer behind and move on in my life.
I should probably back up and introduce myself . . . my name is Jennifer. I’m a Christ follower, married to an amazing man (who happens to be a chef turned Co-CEO of a restaurant), have 3 beautiful daughters and I’ve been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer which originally spread to my sternum, but has now spread to quite a few other bones and one of my lungs as well.
I know it can be confusing when you stumble upon a new blog, so let me help you get started.
- I have a blog to keep track of my thoughts and to let friends and family know what’s going on.
- You can get to know our family or read my personal testimony here.
- As I’ve been going through different procedures, I’ve written down what it was like. You can find a list of those over in the side bar (or down at the bottom if you are on a mobile device).
- Click here to receive an email when I publish new posts.
- And finally, if you noticed above that I’m married to a chef and think that must be the MOST AMAZING THING EVER, click here and browse through my blog about what it’s really like to be married to a chef. (I love blogging. Can you tell?)
Here’s what’s going on with me right now . . .
How do you answer when someone asks, “How are you?”
How many times do we go through our day asking people the simple question, “How are you?” Most of the time, we just respond, “Fine. Thanks. How are you?”
I’ve been thinking about that so much lately. Standing in line at Fred Meyer a few days after finding out I had cancer . . . how do you answer when the cashier asks you how you are doing? I just answered, “OK.” I was OK. It was true. But how else do you respond to that question from a stranger? “Oh, not good. I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer. How are you?” Umm . . .
The dreaded day 3??
Everyone responds to chemo differently. Because of that you really have no idea what it’s going to be like.
We’ve been told by the nurses and Doctors that days 3-5 are the hardest. By tomorrow, the cancer cells should be attacked by the chemo and the Dr. said side effects (like mouth sores, diarrhea, more fatigue, etc.,) could start. But again, who knows . . .
It’s not Christmas . . .
I am overwhelmed (in a good way) by the prayers, offers to help, cards, emails, texts and gifts from so many of you. It seriously is like Christmas in my mail box and on the porch! Thank you!
I am still feeling OK after the chemo yesterday (4 pm). The nurses say that Day 3 is when the chemo medicine is fully metabolized in my system and it is usually when the side effects kick in. (That will be tomorrow, the 23rd.) So far today, I’m just really tired and my mouth is dry. But I was feeling fine to go to Bible Study this morning (YAY!!!) so I’m thankful for that!
Chemo Day 1
Well, the day is finally here. I slept well until about 4:40am. Since then I have been praying, sobbing, praying, sobbing, etc. The house is still quiet. The tears have stopped and I’m feeling more at peace. I pray the tears will stay away, at least while the girls are around.
Last night, our 10 year old said to me, “This is the last night you’ll sleep without Chemo. That seems strange to me.” I know it’s on her mind . . . not knowing what to expect. But I’m thankful she slept well and is still sleeping. 🙂 I’m thankful all of us were able to get to sleep easily. Thank you for praying specially for this.
New hair and first lab work for chemo
So this happened today . . .
Went wig shopping today with Christy. Just like buying a Christmas tree, I looked at a few and then just picked one. I tried on 4 or 5, but one really stood out as the perfect one.
Open House on Saturday
On Saturday we opened our home to local family and friends to come hang out and spend time in prayer with our family. What a blessing it was to see so many people and lift up this diagnosis to the Lord in prayer. I also love receiving texts and emails from friends, letting me know they were praying at the same time from their homes all over the country as they were not able to be here. 🙂
(Special thanks to my sweet cousin Amie who snapped a few pictures for me.)
Encouraged by the prayers for Tom as he supports and takes care of our family during this tough time
Enjoying the last days of what I know as “normal”
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that on Wednesday, I start Chemo.
Over the weekend, we enjoyed time with friends and family in our home, I took the girls out to get pedicures, we went to church as a family, the girls went to a birthday party, we enjoyed time together and got frustrated at the kids because THEY DON’T STOP TALKING . . . you know . . . normal life as a family.
What’s not normal is the changing of the guard. . . Tom switching over to taking care of meals, bills, etc. It’s funny how organized I thought I was with all our bills until I had to sit down and explain it (or attempt to) to him. I offered to run to the store today since he was going to work, but he nicely said he needs to start doing things now so he can ask questions if he needs to. For the past 20 years I have tried so hard to take things OFF his plate and support him and his career in any way I can. He’s commented a few times that he only is where he is today in his job because of my support at home. But now I am giving everything back. That’s really hard. I can tell he’s concerned about what the future looks like. It’s killing me!
Meet Jennifer
Breast Cancer Patient, Chef Wife and Mom
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