I’m sorry you found my blog.
HA! What a funny thing to say on a blog!! But seriously, if you landed here, you either know me, or know someone that has cancer. That’s why I’m sorry!
Cancer.
I hate that word.
I remember sitting in the oncologist’s office in my early 20’s listening to the Dr. tell me that while it was not likely I would get Ocular Melanoma like my Mom, 3 out of 4 people would be diagnosed with some sort of cancer in their life. Since all of my Grandparents and my Mom have died of some type of cancer, I knew my day would come. I just never thought my diagnosis would be the day after my 41st birthday and as a mother of a 10, 7 and 6 year old.
Fast forward 4 years (October 2019) and the cancer has returned in other bones. So here we are, ready to fight again…and looking to be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life.
This blog is my journey as I fight to leave cancer behind and move on in my life.
I should probably back up and introduce myself . . . my name is Jennifer. I’m a Christ follower, married to an amazing man (who happens to be a chef turned Co-CEO of a restaurant), have 3 beautiful daughters and I’ve been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer which originally spread to my sternum, but has now spread to quite a few other bones and one of my lungs as well.
I know it can be confusing when you stumble upon a new blog, so let me help you get started.
- I have a blog to keep track of my thoughts and to let friends and family know what’s going on.
- You can get to know our family or read my personal testimony here.
- As I’ve been going through different procedures, I’ve written down what it was like. You can find a list of those over in the side bar (or down at the bottom if you are on a mobile device).
- Click here to receive an email when I publish new posts.
- And finally, if you noticed above that I’m married to a chef and think that must be the MOST AMAZING THING EVER, click here and browse through my blog about what it’s really like to be married to a chef. (I love blogging. Can you tell?)
Here’s what’s going on with me right now . . .
Bring on the Chemo (round 3)
It’s really discouraging when you wake up in the morning feeling great, but know you are headed to the infusion center to get medicine which you know will make you sick. 🙁
But I went anyways! Bring on the poison and the date with my husband. (Thanks Christy for that text asking me how were enjoying our date – Hahahahahahaha!)
Jayme, my sweet nurse who cracks me up the entire time we are there, makes the time pass quickly. More on her later . . .
As the chemo is going in, things are pretty uneventful until about 20 minutes before we are done. Then I started to get chemo head, or what feels like a fog in/around my head and I started to feel a little tired. Right now (4 pm) my stomach is not sure what’s going on and is gurgling a lot. So I’ll keep an eye on that with the nausea meds ready. So tonight we sit and wait. Fun . . .
Stubborn Port and Oncology Appointment
Quick update from today . . .
My port was stubborn again today, but they got it working before we left. 🙂
I met with the oncologist today. He feels the tumor has softened on the top and the bottom, but it has not shrunk in size. He felt around for the lymph node that we know is infected and larger, but couldn’t find it. So it’s either hiding from us or has shrunk. We hope it’s the latter.
There is no plan to do a scan until after surgery, unless the surgeon wants it. We’ll know more about that as time gets closer.
When Your Friend Tells You She Has Cancer
(This page contains affiliate links.)
I’ll be honest. I have no idea what many of you are going through right now. I have never had a friend call me on the phone or send me an email, telling me they have stage 4 breast cancer, or any cancer for that matter. I have heard news of cancer from my Mom, from grandparents, from a friend about her husband, but never from a friend.
I remember sitting in the car after getting the news of my mammogram from the radiologist and talking with a few of you. None of us expected to have that conversation. We were all expecting to get similar results to the previous year’s mammogram and then to mourn the fact I would have to stop drinking coffee again. Then we would have chatted about the kids and what was going on for the rest of the day. That was the conversation we were expecting.
But that was not the case.
Instead, I told you that the radiologist believed the tumor was malignant. She hoped she was wrong, but in her professional opinion, she was confident she was not.
How to Help a Friend or Family Member with Cancer
When we find out a friend or family member has cancer, we want to help. Sometimes the needs are obvious and easy to identify. Other times, the friend or family member really doesn’t know what they need as they are slowly trying to adjust to this new “normal.” This can leave you feeling helpless!
I know I’ve struggled in the past for ways to help friends and family, especially ones that live in another state. So with the help of some friends, I’ve stared this resource page of things that I’ve found helpful for us as a family, or things that I never would have thought of as a friend, and want to remember for another time when I’m able to help someone else.
While some of these directly apply to a person with cancer, many of them could really be applied to any friend, for any reason. I hope you find them helpful as you look to help your friends and family. I’ve tried to think outside the box a bit about what might really be helpful, but obviously it will depend on the family.
(I’ll be honest. I feel a little uncomfortable writing this as I don’t want it look like a wish list for our family. That’s not it all. Some of you have amazed me at things you have thought to do for us and I’ve heard some great suggestions from others that I never would have thought of on my own. We are all in this together and if I’ve learned something that I can share to help someone else, why not share it?) read more…
Going Out Without My Hair On
My head is spinning with so much to write. Sorry if this post is a bit random because of that. I know I need to write thank you notes and respond to many blog comments and letters. I will try to do that soon. I don’t feel like I’m doing much, but yet the days go by fast.
Well, it happened. I was in public today without a wig or hat on. It was workout. No makeup or a hat. I’m living the life! 🙂
I’ve decided I hate working out with a hat on. So there. Off it came. My friends are amazing and it didn’t phase them a bit (love them!!) My friend’s sweet 4 year old told her mom, “Look, she went out without her hair on today.” And then went back to playing. How cute is that? Another friend’s two little boys took a few minutes to process it, but then went on to playing. Life continues to just go on the same as it did before, even without my hair going with it.
Hair Shaving Party
My fabulous head shaving party on Friday has come and gone. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to seeing my bald head in the mirror, even if people say I don’t look as different as they thought I would.
While I’m not ready to go out in public without a hat or wig, beware . . . if you scroll down I’m posting pictures of my newly shaved head.
This cancer journey definitely seems more real with this new look I’m sporting. I know it’s just hair. If I stop treatment long enough, it will grow back. I know that. It’s just strange. It’s a new normal that I’m not used to yet.
But back to the shaving party . . .
Attack of the Cranial Prosthesis
Well, I’ve had to leave church early for different reasons over the years. But today, I had to leave because my cranial prosthesis (AKA wig) was making me nauseous. (It’s not fitting correctly and I think it’s too tight.) Haha!! That’s a first.
As the pastor was praying that our minds would not be distracted by situations in our lives (finances, health, work, etc.) I was sitting there thinking about my wig that was making me sick. Seriously, sick. Unfortunately I didn’t think ahead and put a hat in my purse and I’m just not ready to go out in public with my new bald look, so we left. 🙁 As soon as we got out of the building I ripped it off and felt so much better. Seriously never thought that would be a distraction at church. Guess I will be listening to the sermon online this week . . .
Meet Jennifer
Breast Cancer Patient, Chef Wife and Mom
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