Quick update tonight – Side effects hit hard this morning when I woke up. My tongue, lips and throat are pretty swollen and because my mouth was so dry I was having a little trouble breathing. I was able to get that under control by drinking, but I will be honest, it scared me a little bit.

Today was day 7 of radiation and tomorrow is my last day. Around day 5 which was supposed to be the middle of radiation, my throat started hurting already, and feeling very tight and constricted. It was a pretty scary thing to wake up to in the middle of the night as my mind just went crazy with thoughts of future pain.

I asked the doctor if there was any chance we could cut the radiation short by two days. I explained that the pain in my arm was gone. And most of the pain in my back and my neck was gone. Something must have been pinched in that one area of my neck!

Sometimes it’s the little things you have to get excited about, like sitting up and watching silly YouTube videos with your family for 2 hours.

I really wish I knew what was causing this nausea. It was really hard emotionally to see my family walk out the door to church this morning without me. I was too weak to even get out of bed this morning for more than just a minute or two and ended up throwing up while they were gone, even with anti nausea medicine. I am now doubled up with two anti nausea medicines and we will see how that goes. At least I was able to get out of bed and spend a little time with my family. I even folded a load of towels and put some dirty clothes in the washing machine. Wow. I feel so productive. 🙂

I’ve written two blog posts and deleted them both because they just sounded like complaining and I don’t want to come across that way.

So tonight I will just say my body is pretty unhappy with everything I’ve done to it this week. Chemo pill, IV medication, shot, and radiation are all a bit much to handle right now and I’m struggling. At this point if I was just living with the cancer I would be feeling much better than trying to fight it. I’m not ready to stop fighting, but I’m pretty overwhelmed by side effects right now. I did get a stronger anti-nausea medicine today, so hopefully I can keep dinner down tonight.

In my last post about radiation and the decision to do it, I left out one big part….our cruise, which leaves February 15th. With radiation starting on Wednesday and ending on February 11th, that doesn’t give me much time to heal before getting on the ship. We talked about many different scenarios, none of which were good. The thought of canceling was horrible. The thought of Tom and the girls without me was horrible. Our original booking had Tom and Sage in one room and Molly, Ashley and I in another. When I called yesterday to find out cancellation options, I found out that the 3 girls can be in a room together since we would be right next door. That is a game changer for me – being able to be in a room with Tom! We decided as that as long as I can physically walk on the plane on the 14th, I am going! If I’m going to miserable, might as well be miserable on a brand new cruise ship. 🙂 The radiation oncologist said there was no reason I couldn’t go, but that I might be miserable. So miserable or not, I’m going. It’s the best option. It gives me something to look forward to and something to fight (and swallow, drink and eat) for. It’s amazing how that can help your outlook on life. 🙂

Well, so far so good on the new medicine. I’ve taken two half doses and two full doses. The biggest side effect I have so far is that I have a very dry mouth and I am incredibly thirsty all the time…which leads to me drinking a lot…which leads to me going to the bathroom a lot…you get picture. So we’ll be keeping an eye on that for a few days to make sure I’m not having high blood sugar issues, which is a very common side effect of this medication.

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Trials…that appears to be the theme of the day. From talking about it during counseling this morning, studying about it in my Bible Study on James mid morning and then this week’s AWANA section too! As I said Luke 22:41-42 over and over and over with Ashley to help her memorize it….Jesus asked God to remove the trial if He was willing, but only if it was His will.

Luke 22:41-42 “And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray, saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”