I’m sorry you found my blog.
HA! What a funny thing to say on a blog!! But seriously, if you landed here, you either know me, or know someone that has cancer. That’s why I’m sorry!
Cancer.
I hate that word.
I remember sitting in the oncologist’s office in my early 20’s listening to the Dr. tell me that while it was not likely I would get Ocular Melanoma like my Mom, 3 out of 4 people would be diagnosed with some sort of cancer in their life. Since all of my Grandparents and my Mom have died of some type of cancer, I knew my day would come. I just never thought my diagnosis would be the day after my 41st birthday and as a mother of a 10, 7 and 6 year old.
Fast forward 4 years (October 2019) and the cancer has returned in other bones. So here we are, ready to fight again…and looking to be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life.
This blog is my journey as I fight to leave cancer behind and move on in my life.
I should probably back up and introduce myself . . . my name is Jennifer. I’m a Christ follower, married to an amazing man (who happens to be a chef turned Co-CEO of a restaurant), have 3 beautiful daughters and I’ve been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer which originally spread to my sternum, but has now spread to quite a few other bones and one of my lungs as well.
I know it can be confusing when you stumble upon a new blog, so let me help you get started.
- I have a blog to keep track of my thoughts and to let friends and family know what’s going on.
- You can get to know our family or read my personal testimony here.
- As I’ve been going through different procedures, I’ve written down what it was like. You can find a list of those over in the side bar (or down at the bottom if you are on a mobile device).
- Click here to receive an email when I publish new posts.
- And finally, if you noticed above that I’m married to a chef and think that must be the MOST AMAZING THING EVER, click here and browse through my blog about what it’s really like to be married to a chef. (I love blogging. Can you tell?)
Here’s what’s going on with me right now . . .
More Waiting…
As I write this, I’m sitting on the back of the Crown Princess in one of their lounges overlooking La Paz, Mexico. Being on a cruise has been a great distraction, except for the shooting pains and sore breast that have started in the last few days. 🙁 I got a little choked up as I wore my spaghetti strap formal and also my bathing suit, wondering if I’ll ever be able to wear them again. Funny the things that go through your mind.
What to Expect from a Breast MRI
Let’s get a few things clear. When someone tells you it’s going to be loud, they don’t mean it’s going to be a loud humming noise and you’ll be able to listen to the music you have selected to listen to on YouTube.
What they really mean is that there are VERY LOUD PULSING BEATS FOR MINUTES AT A TIME.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, here was my experience today as I went in for a breast MRI.
When I was taken back, I got changed into two gowns and some very large pants. I answered some questions from the technician and then was taken to a semiprivate waiting area where I had an IV put in. Just a quick pinch and that was that. 🙂
Once they were ready for me we went into the scan room. I’m sure it has a technical name, but I have no idea what it is.
How is This Possible?
It still baffles me that I have breast cancer. Today as I’m in the dressing from getting ready for my MRI, and the technician was asking me questions, I had to say, “I have breast cancer.” It just doesn’t seem real.
I’m going in for all these test and Dr. appointments (while trying to hide them from the 3 kids until we know more). I feel wonderful. I’m unpacking snorkels and waterproof bags from amazon.com and thinking about what to pack for a 10 day cruise on a Princess cruise ship (my dream vacation) with just my husband to Mexico to celebrate our 20th anniversary. (God’s timing is perfect! Well, it always is, but sometimes it just seems more obvious to me than others.)
The Biopsy Results
I got a call from Dr. MacAbee (my primary care Dr.) at 9am this morning. I did not expect to hear anything today and was so surprised to get her call. The biopsy came back positive and it is malignant, both the tumor and the lymph node. She said it’s Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. I was able to call the breast surgeon’s office and get an appointment for 1 pm TODAY instead of having to wait until Monday morning. 🙂 Praise God for that opening!
After workout (which I had to miss because of the biopsy on Monday), Jen stopped by with a latte and a muffin and I was able to tell her in person. We chatted about it for a bit and then more about life. We spent some time in prayer. I’m so glad she came over!
What to Expect from a Breast Biopsy
The account below is my personal experience. Each person’s experience/treatment is different, depending on their cancer and care. This is just my story, shared in hopes of helping others.
When the radiologist told me I would need to have a breast biopsy, she told me that most women handle it very well. So I chose to not research it or look into it at all. She told me the radiologist would numb the area and then use a needle to taike a few samples from the lump and also from a lymph node. She said there would be a loud clicking noise, but that it shouldn’t hurt.
That was true for the second biopsy, the one taken from my lymph node. A small pinch for the lidocaine and then a loud click and some pressure to take the sample.
Biopsy Day
I finally made it to biopsy day. I started the day with a haircut to get ready for the cruise next week and did a little shopping. Then lunch with Tom who was working from home. Glad I had a busy morning to keep my mind occupied. I didn’t sleep well last night. This morning was full of text messages with scripture and encouragement from friends. 🙂
The biopsy hurt a lot more than I thought it would. The lidocaine they gave me for the local didn’t get deep enough into the tumor and the first needle REALLY hurt. She injected more lidocaine through the needle which took some of the pain away after a few minutes. The second biopsy on the swollen lymph node only hurt when they were numbing it. The biopsy pieces were the size of grains of rice.
Waiting with Nothing to Do
It’s strange having the girls gone at school so long each day. I have a long list of things I’d like to get done and yesterday was a great productive today. However, this afternoon, I really feel like doing nothing. So here I sit on the bed, doing just that.
Meet Jennifer
Breast Cancer Patient, Chef Wife and Mom
Resources:
What to Expect:
