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It still baffles me that I have breast cancer. Today as I’m in the dressing from getting ready for my MRI, and the technician was asking me questions, I had to say, “I have breast cancer.” It just doesn’t seem real.

I’m going in for all these test and Dr. appointments (while trying to hide them from the 3 kids until we know more). I feel wonderful. I’m unpacking snorkels and waterproof bags from amazon.com and thinking about what to pack for a 10 day cruise on a Princess cruise ship (my dream vacation) with just my husband to Mexico to celebrate our 20th anniversary. (God’s timing is perfect! Well, it always is, but sometimes it just seems more obvious to me than others.)

Yet when we get back from the cruise in early October, we’ll need to tell the girls. After that, life will never be the same. As soon as we get back, we’ll have to start treatments of some sort very soon and my body that feels wonderful, will be miserable. Just how miserable, I have no idea. I guess if you have to fight something like this, might as well do it while in pretty good shape and “young”.

It still seems like a bad dream I just need to wake up from.

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