This picture was taken on August 21, 2015, 8 days before my mammogram when I found out I had breast cancer.
Sitting on this log at Deception Pass, I definitely was not thinking that in 8 days I would find out I had breast cancer…….that a month later I would find out it was stage 4…….that we would have to tell our 3 young children that I had cancer…….that a few weeks later I would start chemotherapy. The list could go on and on.
Is that strange that that is the first thing I think of now when I see this photo?
I had no idea that in just 8 short days my life would be forever changed. At this point, I had no idea I had large cancerous tumors in my breast and that it had already spread to my sternum and a few lymph nodes.
That baffles my mind!
I remember being excited for the school year to start and for all 3 girls to be in school full time for the first time. I had plans for projects, rest, to see friends, clean….none of which happened. Instead, I began to fight for my life.
If I had only known….
Would I have done anything different that day or in the next 8 days?
I don’t know. Maybe?
I know I would have taken Tom with me to that mammogram appointment if I had known I would get results that day. I never would have gone alone. Other than that, would I have done anything different? It’s hard to say. But I do wonder…
As I look back over the past 5 years, I think of those who have past away from cancer. It’s strange to me that there have been people that have been diagnosed after me and are gone. I have almost made it to the 5 year mark, which only 22% of people diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer make it to. I am thankful for a few good years with no evidence of disease and pray there will be more of those years to come.
This has been a hard week. The fatigue hit really hard on Thursday, after a really good day on Wednesday. That was so discouraging! It’s very hard not knowing what each day will be like. It’s hard to make plans and cancel them. I know friends understand, but I still don’t like it.
As I look to the week ahead, I’m a little anxious. I will head into the Infusion Center again tomorrow at 11. There’s a chance my hair could start to fall out this week (ugh – I washed my hats and wig just in case). This is the girls’ last full week of summer vacation and I would love to feel up to going to the lake with them at least once. I can’t believe summer is almost over! What a crazy summer it has been!
With all that to say, who knows what is to come this week. I am thankful the Lord is always near and I’m thankful for loving family and friends who are here to support me.
So much to be thankful for…
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I guess it’s a good thing we don’t see ahead very far… thankfully God sees the big picture that we don’t see… love you and praying for you every day my friend! ❤
Thank you for sharing. I lived through this for over 9 years with my wife. Yes we had over 4 years of cancer free after the first surgery and treatment. I can’t explain it but your sharing helps me. No mater what was going on we prayed that we would share the love of Jesus with others, especially those at the hospital. Yes, even on her last day. Yes, Jesus does love us and helps us every day. I continue to pray for you and your wonderful family.
Supporting y’all in prayer.
I think about you and your struggles and it encourages me to keep going forward, even though I sometimes think I can’t . Thank you for staying solid in your faith when things seem like they are falling apart all around you.
You are a blessing to all those who know you and I’m sure many who don’t. You are a testimony of Gods love. Continuing to pray for you and your family.
Praying for you each and every day Jennifer. You are loved and God is ALWAYS with you. I pray you have good days and strength, comfort and endurance for the hard days! You are a blessing!❤
When I see that photo of you and Tom, my heart just hurts for you and all that you are going thru. It is indeed a blessing that we do not know ahead of time what God is going to allow into our lives, but we DO know that He will provide what we need to deal with the “hard stuff”. We are praying for His provision and peace for you and the family
Psalm 121:1-2 Deuteronomy 33:27
Thinking of you & praying for you, your family, and the medical teams supporting you!
Sending you love and thinking of you as you head into this week. I am proud to say that you inspired me to become a teacher and I started my second year of teaching this morning with my second grade class. Thank you for being my friend, role model, and sister in Christ. Love you! Shanna
Woohoo! What a crazy first year of teaching and crazy way to start the second year! I hope it went well today! Are you guys all online? Are you teaching from your room or house?
Jennifer, thank you for always sharing your heart. I think your words allow us to recognize that each day is a gift. It encourages us to think carefully about how we treat others as our desire is for them to see Christ in us. I continue to pray for you and your sweet family every day. May God’s rich grace be yours in the coming days.
Such a beautiful and reflective post. Praying for you, my friend.
Thank you for keeping us informed he past several years we appreciate it . We pray for you every day Jennifer. Praying for comfort and strength. Praying for Tom and the girls as well. ♥️
Our very existence is in the Lord’s hands and when you are in the fight for your life (and, to live it as long as possible here for your children’s sake), you are aware of this like at no other time. Your posts encourage us all to reflect on the brevity of life and the need to keep our focus on the Lord and cultivate the eternal, which is set in each of our hearts. For your sake, and the lives of your family, I pray that this theme will rise to the top of any difficulty as you continue to walk out your faith in the midst of this great trial. We say with Job “shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” ❣️(2:10). May His Peace watch over you each step of the way.
It’s hard to believe it’s been 5 years. You know that I pray for you, Tom, and the girls each and every day. I love you, my friend.
5 years! Wow what a fight you’ve had. But your strength and relying on God is such an amazing witness.
I’m praying for a miracle and that God will answer our prayers that we will have that miracle. Tom and the girls need you! Your dad, mother in law and father in law need you. We all need you. You are amazing and we love you soooo much. ❤️