This picture was taken on August 21, 2015, 8 days before my mammogram when I found out I had breast cancer.

Sitting on this log at Deception Pass, I definitely was not thinking that in 8 days I would find out I had breast cancer…….that a month later I would find out it was stage 4…….that we would have to tell our 3 young children that I had cancer…….that a few weeks later I would start chemotherapy. The list could go on and on.

Is that strange that that is the first thing I think of now when I see this photo?

I had no idea that in just 8 short days my life would be forever changed. At this point, I had no idea I had large cancerous tumors in my breast and that it had already spread to my sternum and a few lymph nodes.

That baffles my mind!

I remember being excited for the school year to start and for all 3 girls to be in school full time for the first time. I had plans for projects, rest, to see friends, clean….none of which happened. Instead, I began to fight for my life.

If I had only known….

Would I have done anything different that day or in the next 8 days?

I don’t know. Maybe?

I know I would have taken Tom with me to that mammogram appointment if I had known I would get results that day. I never would have gone alone. Other than that, would I have done anything different? It’s hard to say. But I do wonder…

As I look back over the past 5 years, I think of those who have past away from cancer. It’s strange to me that there have been people that have been diagnosed after me and are gone. I have almost made it to the 5 year mark, which only 22% of people diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer make it to. I am thankful for a few good years with no evidence of disease and pray there will be more of those years to come.

This has been a hard week. The fatigue hit really hard on Thursday, after a really good day on Wednesday. That was so discouraging! It’s very hard not knowing what each day will be like. It’s hard to make plans and cancel them. I know friends understand, but I still don’t like it.

As I look to the week ahead, I’m a little anxious. I will head into the Infusion Center again tomorrow at 11. There’s a chance my hair could start to fall out this week (ugh – I washed my hats and wig just in case). This is the girls’ last full week of summer vacation and I would love to feel up to going to the lake with them at least once. I can’t believe summer is almost over! What a crazy summer it has been!

With all that to say, who knows what is to come this week. I am thankful the Lord is always near and I’m thankful for loving family and friends who are here to support me.

So much to be thankful for…

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