Tears, Brain Fog and Fingernails

I’ve been doing really well, not letting fear getting the best of me the past few weeks. Tonight has been a little harder. It started off looking for a picture of one of the girls when tears began to fall. I’m not sure why pictures triggered my emotions, but they did. Then I spent about 20 minutes in our office with Tom on the piano and me calling out songs for him to play. More tears then. I love this man so much. Then listening to the kids play and Tom laugh. Next listening to Tom play the piano again and the kids sing. I’m just a ball of emotions. . . tears coming and going.

Not knowing what the future holds is so difficult. I know that I’ve really never known what the future holds, but waiting for this scan on Thursday and then the results the next day to see what the next months of our lives are going to look is really hard.

Yet in the midst of all the tears, I look to the weened. I think of Christ on the cross, taking the punishment for my sins. I think of God’s grace, which I do not deserve. I think of the resurrection and what it must have been like for his followers to see the empty tomb. More tears . . . Different, but still tears. It’s really overwhelming to think that he did all that for (us).


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