What else can be cut off, fall out or fall off?????
Well, let’s see . . . my hair fell out and is now very, very short. Most of my eye lashes and eye brows are gone. One of my large toe nails is about to fall off, just in time for spring/summer when I want to wear sandals. And I’m about to have a prominent body part cut entirely off on Thursday. Oh and my ovaries are going to be cut out as well – but at least those are not visible (although the sweat from the hot flashes probably will be).. Anything else want to fall off or fall out? What if my ear falls off in a few months?????? You never know.
I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. Right now, typing all that, I’m laughing because it just sounds so absurd to me! Yesterday in a store as I walked past a beautiful piece of lingerie, I cried. What can I do? I know who I am is not based on what I look like, but I’m one of those people who always goes out of the house with my hair done and makeup on. I would be lying if I said all this was easy.
Surgery is in 4 days.
My mind is full of thoughts about the before surgery things to be done on Thursday – a biopsy of a lymph node and something which involves shooting some sort of dye in my breast through the nipple – that will be comfortable, I’m sure. There are much more technical terms for both of those procedures and the Dr., Tom and nurse have all talked to me about them and that’s what my mind remembers. Thanks chemo for frying part of my brain that helps me remember things. 🙂
Then there’s the post surgery details – How long will it be before I can have my glasses back after surgery so I can actually see what’s going on around me? How bad will the pain be? What will my body look like? How will I make it so I don’t look lopsided every time I leave the house? How will the girls respond to seeing me in pain and lopsided? What am I going to wear when we go to the lake almost every day in a few months?? Maybe it will just stay cloudy and cold and I won’t have to worry about wearing a bathing suit. (Just kidding Seattle friends. I have LOVED our amazing weather the past weeks!!)
There’s just a few things going on in my brain this afternoon as we end Spring Break and get ready for a new week of work, school and then surgery. 🙂
But with all that, there is still so much to be thankful for.
I’m thankful for 3 days away as a family. There were a few rough moments, but overall, it was a good time for us as a family, even in the car!
I’m thankful for a husband who says he actually likes me with short hair and thinks with another inch or two it will be a great hair style on me.
I’m thankful for a “prescription” for after surgery camisoles and bras and for Nordstrom who will help me fit them and submit a claim to our insurance company to cover part of the cost.
I’m thankful for a friend who sends a note that she’s praying for me along with a cute polka dot bag to take my stuff to the hospital in.
I’m thankful for the chance to get a manicure and pedicure on Tuesday that will hide the damage chemo has done to my hands and feet.
I’m thankful for enough energy to trek all over Vancouver, Canada (over 18,000 steps according to my Fitbit) on Friday with Tom and the girls. (And this was after 12,000 steps the day before and then we walked over 10,000 the day after. I’m tired today!!)
In the midst of the crazy things going on in my mind with surgery coming up, I’m thankful for the little things that God has brought to my mind this afternoon.
So much to be thankful for . . .
I recently discovered your blog and read every entry. I sensed a oneness with you as, like you, I always bring my entries back to what the Lord is doing. (no blog, just facebook – Vicki Taylor – if you want to read my 10? posts from late October) It sounds like you thought of lots of things. In addition to what you’ve listed, I got oversized, soft button down shirts to fit loosely over my scar, arm and drains. I consider it a privilege to pray for you this week, for all to go well in every procedure. God’s got you!
Thanks for the tip about the shirts and thanks for praying! 🙂
Praying for complete peace and reassurance as you face this week’s events. I love you!
Love you too Dad. Talk to you soon!
1 day at a time.I’m so glad that there are people who know what they are doing to walk through this with you.
What a treat to have some fun family time during the kids spring break.
Praying God’s grace and peace will be felt by you as you make your way through this week.
Thank you Tammy. Me too!
You continually amaze me when I read your blog. All these months and what months theybhave been! You uplift others and have such a beautiful attitude. I love your closeness and trust in the Lord. I know that even though all of this has been horrible, God will allow and has allowed it to bless others in so many ways. You’ve discovered in a few months what it took me years to learn. I am so thankful that you are getting to the other side of it now. Enjoy healing, your family and a beautiful summer!
Amen, Terry! Your strength and faith in God is an inspiration, Jennifer. So glad you were able to have fun family time over Spring break.
Praying for peace in your hearts as you begin this week and prepare for surgery.
Love you all. Praying for God to continue to heal your body, sustain and strengthen your spirit, and deepen your beautiful sense of thankfulness. Thank you for continuing to share this chapter of life with such openness and grace.
We are praying your procedure will go well and has planned. We will also pray that you will have peace soon. Peace for you sweet Jennifer.
So glad you had enough energy to enjoy spending some fun time with your family! Praise Jesus! As one who has also had many of my female parts surgically removed I know how your feeling. God will give you courage and strength to face all that is before you. I’ll be praying for you on Thursday. May our Lord carry you through with His perfect peace!
You are amazing Jennifer. You keep so positive through all your inconveniences and pain. Hugs, kisses, and prayers.