My pain is still relatively under control and the last time I took my oxy, I only took three and I’m doing okay. I am now on my second patch and I’m still praying for wisdom for the doctor as I talk to him about it tomorrow. Thank you God for a little bit of relief from pain.
While I’m sad that it is the end of the weekend because that means my husband has to go back to work and the girls have to go back to school tomorrow, I am thankful that it means I am closer to getting answers.
Today I was out of bed and in my recliner quite a bit. That means I had more time to chat with my husband and kids, and to watch Oliver terrorize us. Oh puppy bitting……good thing he is so cute!
Tom and I went on a car date this afternoon. We drove through Starbucks and got a drink and then just drove around for about a half hour talking. We didn’t have an agenda or any specific place to drive to, I just asked him if we could get out of the house and be together.
We talked about many different things, not all of them cancer-related and I tried not to bring up the topic of work because I didn’t want him to start thinking about it again before he has to.
One thing we did talk about was my scan. What would a good scan look like to us? Obviously, to me, a good scan would mean the chemo is working and killing cancer cells which in turn relieves pain and gives me back some quality of life. It would also mean there would be a reduction in fluid around my lungs. That’s what a good scan would be for me.
However, is that even possible? Or does a good scan mean chemo is killing cancer cells, but this is as good as my quality of life will be? Can I go backwards? Can I get to where I can walk around the block again or even to where I can walk down the street again? Can I get to where I feel okay enough to have friends over instead of just talking on the phone? Will I always look this sick when I look in the mirror?
That is a big question weighing on both of our minds this evening.
I spent a long time in prayer this afternoon and wrote out every single feeling and emotion I was having. Tears were streaming down my face as I was typing, but it felt so good to get it out.
I read through verses and listened to songs that many of you sent to me as encouragement. I also looked back through emails that I saved from my original diagnosis in 2015. One email was from my friend Christy, who is such an amazing friend and always points me towards the Lord. In it, she shared this blog post by John Piper. It’s a post he wrote the night before he went in for prostate surgery. It was an encouragement to me then and was again today. It’s a great read if you have a few minutes.
I am thankful for another day of life. Thank you for being on this journey with us.
Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts Jennifer. Praying for a great scan for you and answers for your questions.
Continued prayers, friend! So great seeing you on Zoom today!
I love you, and will be praying all day tomorrow!
Thankful for your time with the family this weekend and time alone with Tom.
Lord guide and direct.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I’m so glad you and Tom were able to have some time together! I will be praying for a good scan. Big hugs!
Thanks for sharing. I am glad you had some time together today! Praying for you tonight.
Your honesty about your pain, about your joys and fears and the every day ups and downs of having cancer makes me feel closer to you, understand what you’re going through and definitely on how to pray for you and your family. This journey has been hard and still is hard but God has never wavered from loving you and answering all of our prayers. This is a challenge that none of us understand. But we do understand that God’s Word has peace, strength, wisdom, courage, encouragement, hope, faith and love available to you 24/7. My prayer is you can cling to “His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts” causing you to be able to TRUST in His might, power and holiness. May the meds continue to give you some relief, may your night be restful and may your conversation with your doctor be exactly what you need to hear/know. You are a daughter of the King and you have His unconditional love. I love you, Tom and your girls and we KNOW THAT WE KNOW that God wants you and your family to rest in His arms. HE IS YOUR ROCK!
Hugs and prayers and blessings!
So glad you had time with Tom, your girls, and cute little Oliver.
Praying for your scan tomorrow and for less pain. May you sleep well tonight too.
Happy you and Tom got out together,just the two of you . I have had many little bite marks on my hands from our Luther little teeth, but puppies are so adorable. So I know what you are talking about cute Oliver. Praying your scan will be good . Thank you for keeping your blog up. Praying everyday for you Jennifer . Praying for Tom and the girls. God Bless you sweet Jennifer.
Prayers for you Jennifer. Praying for your pain to ease up so you can sleep with some comfort. Praying for Tom and the girls. So happy Oliver give you joy .
Thanks again for sharing. I does help me. I think about what we would be praying about if we were at our Wild Rose prayer time, sometimes with only the three of us. We still pray for each other and also give thanks for the faithfulness of Jesus, being glad for you time out of the house, and for less pain. We would be praying for you, your family. We would also be praying for my family and the good test results they are getting back. I continue to pray for you daily and share your request with my small group and during the prayer time at our church. Now all on zoom.
Praying for you to have peace of mind, peace from pain and yes, go backwards if it’s the Lord’s will. Thank you for sharing YOU with all of us. Love you
Thank you for the update, I’ve been praying so much for you through this weekend. I’m glad the pain lessened some and you were able to get out with Tom a bit yesterday. I love you so much. I don’t know what the result of the scan will be, but I do know, without a doubt, that God knows and He is with you.
A privilege to be a part of your prayer team! You are a testimony of the grace of God and trusting Him in this journey. In Christ’s love, Bobbie
You are brave, my friend. Very brave. Thank you for addressing your questions, pain and circumstances so honestly and faith-full-ly.