For our 25th anniversary, we had planned to go on a cruise or another vacation and have the kids spend a few weeks down in Southern California with Tom’s parents. Because of my health and COVID, that trip didn’t happen….but I think something better did.
The girls have been down in CA for almost 2 weeks. That means we have had the house to ourselves (and clean) for 2 weeks!!!!
We’ve had so much time to talk.
We’ve done some projects together.
Tom has worked.
I have rested and done some things around the house.
If Tom was working on a project in the garage, I was out there too.
We just spent time together. It didn’t matter what we were doing. We were together and were not interrupted!
The time has been AMAZING.
While it would have been wonderful going on a cruise, being home together for this long period of time without the girls has been just what we needed at this point in our lives. (And the girls are having a blast with grandparents and cousins!) Mom and Dad – you will never know how much this time has meant to us. THANK YOU!!!!
We had planned to take the girls to Whidbey Island for 4 days and had rented a 3 bedroom house in Langley for last weekend. We decided to keep the reservation and we went, just the two of us. Woohoo!! The house was the cleanest vacation home we have ever stayed in and everywhere we went, everyone was wearing masks when inside or close by other people. We were very careful and I’m so glad we had the chance to get away!
We had so much fun exploring and driving around. The weather was perfect. We drove with the sun roof open and the windows down! Gorgeous flowers were blooming everywhere! Gardens are everywhere and were producing produce and flowers. It was a very different trip because it was just us. (Don’t get me wrong….it would have been fun with the girls too, but this was different. I’m sure you understand.) (There are more pictures and details here if you are interested.)
We are back home now and Tom will be back to work tomorrow (at his desk here at home). The girls get home on Thursday.
While the weekend away was amazing, we started it off with a Telehealth appointment with my oncologist to get my CT scan results to see if the chemo pill was working. Driving in the car on the way there I got a notification from MyChart letting me know I had new test results. That was strange since we were meeting with the Dr. in 2 hours. The results were for my CT. We read the the radiologist’ss comments and then the Oncologist’s response – “Sorry. New spots seen. Will talk soon.”
Ugh. I’m not sure why he sent that before our meeting, but I guess it was good so the initial shock was worn off before we started talking about next steps.
The current chemo pill I’m on is not working. There are more cancer spots in my bones (which we were expecting), but it has now also spread to the lungs. On the last CT there was a small spot on my right lung and they were unsure what it was, so they said we would watch it. On this CT, the spot has grown and there is another one. They are small, but it’s definitely cancer. They are not causing any pain, but they are there and are growing.
Cancer has now spread to an organ. π
Tom and I were prepared to hear cancer had spread more in the bones, but finding out it is now in the lungs was a surprise and was very difficult to hear.
There are no more pill options, so we are moving on to IV chemo. I’l be getting Taxol, which is one I have had previously. He said there are other options, but for now recommended going with one that has worked in the past.
So that’s the plan.
Here’s what it looks like on the calendar:
8/4 – COVID testing
8/6 – Port placement surgery (my veins can’t handle weekly chemo)
8/10 (Monday) – First chemo
I will have chemo every Monday and it goes in cycles – 3 weeks on/one week off.
I’m much more prepared this time for what’s to come. I’m less anxious because of this! I know what the port placement surgery is like. I know how the infusion works – blood work, premeds, chemo, 3rd day is usually the hardest, take Claritin for a few days before the infusion, have anti-nausea meds ready, goodbye hair (tears….so many tears on this one)…
I’m glad I wrote so much down on this blog so I can go back and read posts to remind myself what it was like!
Eventhough a lot of this it familiar, there are some big differences.
COVID – means chemo by myself but with someone needing to drive me there and pick me up; not being able to have many friends in the house for encouragement or to help; kids doing school at home while I’m not feeling good and some days unable to help….COVID makes it a lot harder. I could write my huge list of fears and concerns because of it, but instead, I will give those thoughts to the Lord.
If you are still reading, thanks!
I would imagine you are wondering how we are doing.
We are doing OK. I’m not sure what else to say.
There have been tears and a lot of difficult discussions.
There has also been laughter, joy, hugging, kissing and snuggling.
This is hard. It’s hard to go through this during normal times, but even harder to go through it during a time when it seems like the world is literally falling apart. Seriously! God, please return quickly!!
I can’t think about the future. It’s too hard. For now, Tom and I are focusing on today and our quiet house, friends bringing over a recliner for me to borrow, a yummy BBQ chicken dinner and time to watch another Marvel movie while we eat that yummy dinner. We are looking forward to the girls being home and hearing all about their trip. The house will no longer be quiet, but I pray it will be full of laughter, fun and words or encouragement.
As you pray for our family, please pray for Tom. There is so much going on for him with work, taking care of our home and family and then emotionally processing my cancer. Please pray for the girls as they process this as my physical appearance changes. Those changes make the cancer feel more real to them and it’s hard. Please pray that my body will handle the IV chemo well, that I will not have bad neuropathy, and that if at all possible, I could keep my hair. (Last time on this chemo, my hair started to very slowly grow back. It’s been thinning with this last chemo pill, but not so much that you can tell. Hair loss is usually a side effect with this chemo. I’m looking into a few things that I have heard help, but I’m not too hopeful.)
BEFORE YOU GO – I almost forgot. Praise God! I adjusted the dose of my Morphine from 45mg 2x a day to 60 mg 2x a day and my lower back pain is so much better! I can actually be up doing something for more than 10 minutes at a time! Thank you Lord! I started this new dose on Friday evening and it made our trip so much more enjoyable as I wasn’t in a lot of pain the entire time in the car. (We did a lot of driving!)
Thank you all for your continued support. Thank you also for not offering suggestions of treatment or referrals to people/and or doctors. We are very pleased with the care I am receiving and will reach out with questions or needs if we have them.
Hugs from beautiful, sunny Seattle!
Just so much love and so many prayers your way. I think of you and your family often. Iβm so glad the girls got to spend time with their grandparents…. such precious memories for all.
Hey friend! I think you and your family as well. Praying for all of you this morning. Would love to chat via email sometime. π
Just continuing to pray and enjoying reading about your peaceful joyful time. Sending love and hugs to you.
Thank you Joanne. π
Thank you for sharing your journey and living life out loud. You, Tom and the whole family are in my prayers. You are not alone….<3
Thanks Veronica. It’s nice to be reconnected with you again via Facebook. π College was a long time ago wasn’t it?
Sounds like you and Tom had a wonderful time together. Iβm so happy you increased the meds and able to enjoy yourself. I think of you so often and wonder how your doing. I wish I lived closer so I could come and sit with you and help. Since I canβt be there know you are always in my heart and I will pray for your healing. We have a good God and you have been a beautiful and grateful child of God. I love you and truly miss your face
Wished you were closer so we could sit and chat one day. I pray that you are doing well too. π I miss the days of seeing you in Fred Meyer!
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and all that is going on, it really helps in knowing how to pray specifically for you. You are in our prayers daily and we count it a privilege to stand with you in this way. “Psalm 34:6 “This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him from all his troubles.” Spurgeon”s comment on this: “God gives us prayer as a basket, and then He pours the blessings of His grace into it.”
Love in Christ, Chuck and Bobbie
Thanks for the encouragement with that verse Bobbie. Praying for you and Chuck as well!
Hugs and prayers to you also Jennifer.
Giving you to God daily. During the hard, painful and challenging times, may you feel God’s presence. you are never alone in any of this. Praying for what’s to come….comfort, courage, peace, strength and TRUST for you and your family.
Thanks Marcia. Miss seeing you. π
Thanks Carol! I just saw Donna a few weeks ago and she told me about the fun time she and boys had with you recently! π Hope you are doing well!
Oh Jennifer, I truly wish we were closer and I could help you with everything you need. Praying for you and trusting God to care for you β€οΈ
I have been praying for Tom and the girls. I know this is difficult for them in different ways. Thank you for the update so we know better how to pray.
Thanks Jennifer. I know you can relate and definitely know better what Tom and the girls are going through. Thanks for praying!
So uplifting to hear of your special time and adventures together as well as the kids getting the same with grand parents. So SPECIAL!
Continue to pray for all of you and asking God to meet each of you in a most fulfilling way and that he would make it known to you that he is your all in all.
It is such a special time for them Tammy. I’m so glad they were able to go! I can’t wait to hear about all the memories they made.
Miss you and our CCC family so much. Thanks Denise!
Thank you so much for sharing. I think about you so often and those thoughts turn to prayers every time. I loved reading your time with Tom has been special and that your getaway was just what you needed. As I read about your journey, I am learning so much from you…your bravery, your strength, your genuine heart and your humility. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending hugs and love to you and your family.
Thanks Kristi. I don’t feel like I have all those things you listed. I feel so weak. Any strength I have is from the Lord!
Jennifer,
Sorry that you are going thru this. I will be thinking of you daily and praying for you and your family. β€β€β€
Loved the pictures – could almost smell the lavender. That was my Mom’s fragrance – Yardley’s English Lavender. So glad you were able to get away and enjoy the time without the horrible back pain. Praying for all of your issues and you DO have a bunch. Thanks for being so transparent with us. Love to you and that dear husband.
Many prayers and much love to you, Tom, and the girls.
Thanks Jennifer. π
Thanks Joyce. The smell on the lavender farm was amazing!
Thanks for all the details in your post tonight my friend… both the positives and the things to pray for… your faith and testimony is such an example! Lots of love and a hug! β€
Thanks for praying friend. Hope to be able to get together again soon.
I sure enjoyed reading this because I can see all the good in it and I know that God is good. As I read this I identify with so much of it. Alpha’s big problem with all of this was her diabetes, Type 1. Again one think I can say about all of it is that God is Good. I continue to pray for all of you.
It was so good to read about the wonderful time you and Tom have had together . I can tell that it did you’re so good. I pray that in the midst of each new test result, changing treatments, And the myriad of information to process, that God gives you and Tom peace. Peace in knowing that HE knows…and is with you every step of the way. Have. Wonderful reunion with the girls in a couple of days. They will be abuzz with stories to tell.
They will be talking non stop or sleeping non stop and then talking non stop. We’ll see! π And yes, any peace we have is from the Lord. There is no human peace about any of this.
I can only try to imagine how your mind would have such a difficult time, processing it all. I think it would be so hard to be still and allow your mind to rest with so much uncertainty. So i pray that He gives periods of peace so your mind can rest a be in the present moment to enjoy your dear family and friends.
Thank you. I do have a lot of time to think and I need to be careful not to turn those times into worrying about the future!
God is Good – all the time. Thanks for the reminder of that Bob!
Jennifer, you are my hero! Your positive attitude through all of this amazes me and I know the only way you could face life this way during these uncertain times is because of the surety you have in our Lord Jesus Christ. I am so thankful you know him and I am thankful I know you through your cancer journey. I commit to pray for all of the things you have mentioned and even for the things you have not mentioned. God bless you my friend and may the Lord be your strength. Love and prayers, Bonnie
Thank you for praying and thank you also for the encouraging cards. They brighten my day when I see them in the mail box!
Hi you guys, you may or may not remember me. I worked with your mom at Reseda Baptist and Tom for a while too. Have not met your girls. I have 3 of my own too. My sincerest thoughts and prayers go with you and I am following your e-mail. I have been thru cancer too with dad and husband and I know what it means to lean on God (and friends too). Blessings to your whole family. When I come to CA I have lunch with Paul and other friends. I live in Colorado Springs now.
Sue! I do remember you! I’m sorry you can relate to what we are going through. But because of that, I know you know specifically how to pray for us and I am thankful that you are lifting us up to the Lord.
Jennifer, I prayed exactly what is on your list. I love praying specifically so that was so helpful. I sure wish I could help with your girls and their school work as I homeschooled for 8 years, but that will definitely be something to pray about continuously of course. Thank you for being so honest. You are a brave young woman. I still picture you as one of the little girls (Jennifer Jansen as well) who would travel with us on Doulos tours. Loved seeing all your photos. Just know Iβm praying for you and thinking about you and your sweet family. β₯οΈ
Thanks Teri. I have no idea what school will look like. It’s not like the homeschooling many of my friends do. We have always been very happy with our district, so I know that they will do a great job. Everything is just so unknown and that’s hard! I’m not sure if the girls know it 100% online yet. I haven’t mentioned it to them while they are gone as I know they are going to be disappointed. They just miss their friends!
Jennifer, You are an amazing godly woman and an inspiration to me. Your faith will see you and your family through the toughest of times. Thank you for sharing about your wonderful trip. What a blessing to have had that quality time with Tom. Your pictures were lovely and it sounds like you two had a great time together and it was so nice to see your dad with his granddaughters. Prayers continue for you and your family.
Love,
Jan
Thanks Jan! π
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Thanks for this morning. π
So happy you and Tom had such a wonderful adventure. You both so deserve that . Praying for you with your new treatment. Praying for Tom stress levels to be do able for him. I know the girls had a great time with family . Praying for strength for them as you are going through more treatments. Jennifer you are one amazing young lady . β₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈ
Thank you so much Pat! π
Time to recalibrate is always such a great gift. Glad you got some. You’re always in my prayers.
Yes! What a gift it has been!!