Tomorrow morning I check in for reconstructive surgery at 6:30 am. That’s early. It’s even earlier to ask Christy to come be at our house at 5:45 to get the girls off to school. 🙂
Tomorrow will come and go. I will have a new and improved body part and a little pain that hopefully can be managed with just Tylenol. I have Vicodin on hand, but can’t remember how my body responded last time I took it and want nothing to do with Percocet since my crazy itching reaction from it after the mastectomy. I’m am hoping the recovery is as easy as the surgeon says it will be. I’d like to go to Bible Study on Thursday morning. All I have to do it sit there…but we’ll see how I feel. 🙂
The past week has been an emotional roller coaster. I fight with worry in my mind often. I’m annoyed at myself because it’s not even this whole cancer thing I’m worrying about it. It’s other stuff that I have no control over and which probably will never even happen. When I have down time to relax, Satan just attacks my mind. So the weekend and yesterday were on and off times of worry, followed by verses, praise and worship music playing in the house and even sitting down at the piano for an hour Monday morning playing through some hymns and choruses.
There are times I just feel down but can’t really pin point it to one certain thing. I just want to hide in my room and cry. But I’m a mom….no hiding possible. The girls come and find me. (Lol – thinking about a few times I needed to make a phone call and I went and sat in the car in the garage for quiet. They still found me.)
Part of the emotional roller coaster is seeing a glimpse of “normal” life, mixed in with multiple trips up to Valley Medical Center for appointments – a husband working hard and traveling to provide for us as I take care of things at home; kids looking ahead at the future and telling me their huge ideas (that will never happen) for their upcoming birthday parties; “styling” my hair (which I still HATE, but at least it’s hair); trying to be patient with 3 girls as they come home from school and all “need” something at the same time.
Then there are reminders of God’s grace as I sit and watch our girls sing in a children’s choir musical and cry as I thank God that I was healthy enough to be there; encouraging letters in the mail and packages on my porch at just the perfect time; sweet and meaningful conversations with the girls reminding me how blessed I am to be their mother.
As you pray, will you please pray for:
- Patience for me as a mother. All the things I used to struggle with as a mom are still there, but with the added difficulty of medical issues.
- Wisdom for the doctors and nurses tomorrow during surgery.
- That I can manage my pain with just Tylenol. And if Vicodin is needed, that my body will respond well to it.
- That recovery will be as easy as the surgeon thinks it will be
Looking forward to this time tomorrow when there is one more step is behind me. Thanks for praying with us.