I know I said I would post more about my emotions and how I’m feeling after my last scan, but I’m still not feeling great and that’s going to be a longer post. So here’s a quick update on how I’m feeling.

I’m still trying to figure out that constipation medicine. I need the full strength of it but my body can’t handle it all at once. So today I took half a pill this morning and I’m going to take half a pill right before I go to bed. Hopefully I will be able to sleep. If not, I will get through a lot of episodes of Heartland.

This pill would make life so much easier, so I am pretty motivated to figure out a way to make my body tolerate it. It’s just not very enjoyable. The worst side effect, besides the cramping, is feeling super sweaty, cold and weak all at the same time. The website says it can cause symptoms of opioid withdrawal, which I think is what’s happening. I’m not actually having a withdrawal just the symptoms of it. It’s pretty horrible.

The pain patches seemed to be working okay. I’m still having to take some oxycodone a few times a day but not around the clock and not as many. Part of me wonders if the pain I’m having now has to do with the constipation medicine I’m trying to take. I won’t totally know until I figure out that one. I have a Telehealth appointment tomorrow with my palliative care doctor so I will get her thoughts on that.

I think I’ve decided to continue on with this current chemo. More on that later.

Thank you for continuing to pray. And for those of you that have messaged and have either not gotten a response, or received a very late response, thank you for understanding. There have been times the past few days when lifting my hand to my mouth to eat something was just too much.

Throughout the difficulties, I look at my girls and I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to be their mother.

And Tom….he is the most caring, tender, amazing man. He is my best friend and takes such good care of me. Whoever my future son-in-laws are, I hope they are up for the task, because Tom is setting the most amazing example for them as to what a godly husband and father looks like. Our girls are going to have high expectations!

This picture shows the most exciting thing that happened today (at least for me). Tom pushed our beds back together. So this is a picture I took in my bed with Tom’s bed right next to mine. The bar is still in the middle so I can get up easier. We decided to try it with the bar first. We’ll see if it stays there or not.

When I came home from the hospital in October and was really struggling to get in and out of bed, we had separated the beds so we could put bars on both sides to help me get in and out.

I’m not a huge snuggler when I want to sleep. Neither is he. But I felt too far away from him and I didn’t like it. This makes me happy. 

Who knows if it will stay like this for forever, but for now, I look forward to being able to kiss my husband good night when we are both in bed. ❤