We are back from the cruise. I’ll write more about that later.
Last night we flew home and I was dropped off at the ER on the way home. I was too weak to get off the plane without a wheelchair. That was pretty traumatic for the girls, but there was no option. I was too weak to walk. I got 2 bags of fluid at the ER. A CT confirmed that everything is fine, except a lot of inflammation in my throat. I am still not able to drink anything or swallow a lot with out liquid lidocaine.
Tom and I go in tomorrow to see the oncologist again and I get my monthly shots and infusion. I’ll also get some more fluids when I’m at the infusion center. Along with the severe soar throat, I still have some mouth soars as well. The pain meds make it hard to function, cause a lot of twitching and random muscle movements. They make it impossible to make any sort of decision and make it very hard to parent without doing something to make things much harder than than already are,.
Today I slept off and on. Sage is helping with the huge mountain of laundry and I’ve been up for a few minutes at a time to unpack. Our house cleaners came and cleaned. Friends ran to grab prescriptions and came at a very early hour to help get the kids off to school so Tom could work.
I’m not sure what is going on and why this is lasting so long. Since the beginning of radiation, I have lost 15 pounds. I have not eaten anything besides water and ensure since February 8th. Being on a cruise ship with amazing food was torture.
Tom and I have talked about quality of life verses quantity of life. I still pray this is temporary and I really think it is. But this is not living. Not being able to eat, not able to do anything. It takes me so long to respond to text messages because my fingers randomly twitch. Even typing is hard. If treatment make life like this, I will not continue. I can’t.
Mayhbe I dhouldn’t write that. “Maybe I shouldn’t share that. Mayb it’s too much. But this is a lot right now. And it has been for a long timel. And this is apragargrah without me editing it. It’s rediculous. Thank you for praying for our family. we will reach aout as snneded. it is hard forje to respond to texts as you can see from my typing,. thanjk for understanding. it also isn comfortable to talk. ‘i will keep you posted as I khow more. Please also conuie to pray for the girls a s it is hard form them to see me like this. Please also pray for Tom as he navigateds hom eand work. This is so hard.
Oh Jennifer. I love you so much. I am on my knees for you right now. My heart hurts for you, Tom, and your girls.
I am sorry Jennifer, I am praying too!
Continued prayers for you and your family. Sending you love and strength.
Jennifer, I am sending you love and prayers. None of us can imagine what you are truly going through right now even though you’ve been so open, honest, and raw with us. We feel so helpless. The only things we can offer are our love, support, encouragement and prayers. And if course, you have all of those. Please know God is still in control. He sees the hard. He knows every challenge you have faced. But He is with you. Even when it feels like Ge is far, far away. He promised never to leave you. Hold tightly to that. We will commit to cover you, your sweet girls, Tom, and your doctors in the days ahead. May God give you the strength you need for each minute. Love you, my friend. Bonnie
Bonnie, you said it best!! I love you, Jennifer, and there’s not a day that goes by that you’re not in my thoughts and prayers.
Praying for you tonight Jen, your husband and your sweet girls! ❤️
Jennifer praying for you and your family with all of my heart..I’m so sorry…
Much love and prayers for all.
Dear Jennifer, my heart just aches hearing what you are dealing with and the conversations that you and Tom are having, the hard ones that need to be had. I pray for you all. I pray for wisdom and peace as you navigate the unknown. I pray His protection over the girls. I thank Him for your friends who are there to help and support in practical ways. I pray also for your doctors. And I pray for you, that relief would come, that you will feel well enough to enjoy simple pleasures like the taste of food and a nice walk out doors. You are surrounded by love, near and far. Wendy
Praying for you every day, Jennifer. I love you!
My heart aches for you, Jennifer. The physical and emotional pain of what you are going through is unimaginable. I don’t live close enough to help you and your family, so I am grateful that the Lord has surrounded you with loving, supportive friends. I pray that God will relieve you of your pain.
Jennifer, I only know you through the middle school stuff and my wife Courtnei, but I can tell you you’re an amazing person and have touched a lot of lives. It’s normal to feel these feelings, but also important to share so you can put them into the universe and off your chest. Keep believing, we believe, and we send all our love to you and your family.
Praying my friend! Praying for you and your medical team and the girls and Tom…. may God be with you tonight and give you a restful night back at home. Lots of love ❤
I love you, sweet friend, and continue to pray daily for you, your family and God’s provision.
Praying!
Oh, Jennifer, I am remembering how hard it was for your mom when she was returning from Hawaii. My heart is broken for you! My tears don’t come close to expressing how much I ache for you. May God settle around you, hold you closer than you ever knew possible, and give you hope. Today my stepdad was diagnosed with lymphoma. It’s been a hard day. His brother, who also loved the Lord, used to say, “It will all be okay. And even if it’s not okay, it’s still okay.” God is here. Whether fast or slow, we’re all just walking each other home. I love you so much!
Praying & trusting in Him.
Jennifer, I cannot begin to say I understand but I do have confidence that God knows every detail of this most difficult trial. He promises to carry us through when things feel overwhelming. I’m begging him to provide for your every need, and for the girls & Tom.
Dear Jennifer – NEVER hold back in sharing what is going on with you. We need to pray for the specific needs, hurts, and frustrations that you are dealing with. Praying that you will get relief from the mouth and throat issues and be able to eat real food once again.
Love and hugs
Thanks so much for sharing. I continue to pray for you and these specific needs that you mentioned.
Praying God will bring you relief from your pain and inflammation.
May He comfort you and all of your loved ones as you struggle with
the extremely hard things you are facing every day. My heart is aching for you all. Praying for you all daily.
I’m sorry you are still going through this. Continued prayers.
Love and continuing prayers for you. Praying for Tom and your sweet daughters.
Jennifer, I am so glad you got to go on the vacation. You were not well and did not enjoy it but you got to hear your daughter’s tell you of the things they saw with their father. I am sure they had a good time.
Again I am so sorry you are in so much pain. A person can only take so much pain. I do understand that. I pray for you comfort Jennifer. If you need extra help I could come to Donna’s and then drive to your home and help you. Please let Donna know if you need more help. Love, Carol Moser (Donna’s Mom)
I am thinking all positive thoughts and praying for relief of body, mind, and spirit. Sending you lots of hugs from afar, my friend. xo, Shanna
Praying for you Tom and the girls!