My CT scan is scheduled for next Wednesday, the 30th. 2 days later on October 2nd, we have a telehealth appointment with Dr. Leung to find out the results.

Yesterday was the hardest day I have had in a while. Physically I struggled to get up and do anything, and I was an emotional mess. Chemo and the steroid were making my face very flushed and it felt like it was on fire. Looking back at the day, I should have taken some medicine to help me calm down. I finally did at 7pm and went to bed really early.

Mentally I have been preparing for my next scan to be in late November. To find out that it’s next week was a little bit of a shock. I’ll be glad to know if the chemo is working, but every scan we’ve done since October has not been good.

I’m not ready to have another bad scan. I’m not ready for another discussion of what chemo we move on to next. I don’t want to continue to make things harder on my family, especially my husband. I don’t want to look at my calendar, not knowing if I will be able to do anything on it until the morning of. I just don’t want to be sick anymore. I just want to feel good and have a lot of energy so I can be like one of those crazy people who is reorganizing their house after watching The Home Edit. Seriously. Do you know how much I love organizing?

I’m thankful that today is a little better than yesterday. I’ve been out of bed sitting in the recliner. Cortney and I discussed our James Bible study over video chat. I’ve done a few loads of laundry. I changed out the hangers in my closet. I swapped summer and winter clothes in my closet. I tried to help with some geometry. I prioritized my to do list. I put up a few fall decorations. I wrote a few letters. Each one of those things took a very brief amount of time. Between each of them I had to sit down and rest because I was very out of breath. But, I got somethings done and I’m very thankful!

As you pray for our family this week, will you please pray for peace in our home. Please continue to pray for the girls as they do school from home. Pray for Tom as he manages everything. Pray that as I parent in the midst of pain, my words will be gracious and kind. Pray that I will not worry about the scan coming up next week.

Also, thank you to everyone who helps provide meals for us a couple times a week. It is very helpful! October dates are up on the calendar if you are able to help.