Good news! I still have hair.
Not so great news….the CT showed some new and enlarged spots. The growth isn’t huge, but it is still growth. That, combined with my current symptoms, confirms that Taxol (the current chemo I am on) isn’t effective.
The fluid around my right lung has increased a little and there is now a spot on my left lung. There is also an inconclusive spot on my liver that is suspicious. There are a lot of spots on my bones still, one large one at T4, which hasn’t really changed since the last scan. Maybe that’s the one that is causing my back pain.
My oncologist is putting me on Eribulin, 2 weeks on, 1 week off, starting October 12th. That means this coming Monday, I will not have chemo. Also….HAIR LOSS IS NOT A SIDE EFFECT OF THIS NEW MEDICATION!! Woohoo!!!!!!!! He said there will be some hair thinning, so we will pray that is minimal! (Side note – the website I looked at does list hair loss as a possible side effect. But I trust the Dr. more than the website and I like his answer better, so we’ll go with that!)
Dr. Leung suggested making an appointment with Seattle Cancer Care Alliance to see if there are any clinical trials that might be a good fit. Tom and I are not sure that’s something we are ready to do and will need to think and pray on that. (Please no suggestions or ideas on that at this time.)
My breathing has been more labored with a cough, so he prescribed an antibiotic and an inhaler to see if that will help. Because of my more labored breathing, the cancer getting worse in my lungs, and COVID, I am going to be staying home quite a bit…no more shopping, eating out, church, etc. I just need to be extra careful. I will still have friends over to chat on the back deck for as long as I can, and then we’ll move into the house and wear masks and be as careful as possible. I’m not willing to fight this and be lonely!
This was definitely not the news we were hoping and praying for, but God is good, all the time, which includes now. We still believe He has a plan and that this is part of it. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but I trust Him and I pray that God would be honored and glorified throughout my entire cancer journey.
Thanks for reading and for praying for our family. It’s hard to not be discouraged, but we will keep fighting, one day at a time, one minute at a time and sometimes one second at a time.
This song, Truth I’m Standing On, by Leanna Crawford, has been playing over and over again on my phone.
LYRICS
Scared, oh I thought I knew scared
Now I’m so filled with fear
I can barely move
Doubts, I’ve had my share of doubts
But never more than right now
I’m wondering where are You
I’m on the edge of fall apart
But somehow Your promises
Find my troubled heart
This is the truth I’m standing on
Even when all my strength is gone
You are faithful forever
And I know You’ll never
Let me fall
Right now I’m choosing to believe
Someday soon I’ll look back and see
All the pain had a purpose
Your plan was perfect all along
This is the truth I’m standing on
Good, I believe You’re still good
Even when life’s not good
I will not loose this hope
The God who parts the sea
Promises He’s gonna
Make a way for me
This is the truth I’m standing on
Even when all my strength is gone
You are faithful forever
And I know You’ll never
Let me fall
Right now I’m choosing to believe
Someday soon I’ll look back and see
All the pain had a purpose
Your plan was perfect all along
This is the truth I’m standing on
My rock my shield my firm foundation
I know I will not be shaken
You remind me
Where my help comes from
This is the truth I’m standing on
Even when all my strength is gone
You are faithful forever
And I know You’ll never
Let me fall
Right now I’m choosing to believe
Someday soon I’ll look back and see
All the pain had a purpose
Your plan was perfect all along
This is the truth I’m standing on
Oh Jennifer. I’m so sorry. You are right, God is good, all the time. Even when it doesn’t seem like it…and it really doesn’t seem like it right now. We know the God who created everything is holding you in His hands.
I love you. I’m praying for you, for all of you.
Love and miss you my friend!
Jennifer I’m sure the news you received wasn’t what you wanted to hear but I can’t tell you how much I admire your faith and positive attitude whatever you go through. If God’s plan for you is to increase others faith, it sure is working on me. You are in my prayers, my Life Group’s prayers and I know many others are praying too. May God continue to use you for His glory and bless you richly. And we pray His will is to heal you.
Thank you so much Gail. That means so much to me!
Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear this. You and your family are much loved and are in our prayers. Take each day, one day at a time. May the peace of Christ be with you. Love, Lori
Thanks Lori! ❤️
You are strong and courageous. A vessel used by God for His Glory through your personal “story”. I pray for you and your family often and thank God for His faithfulness to you!
Thank you Sandi. 🙂
Sniff, I was hoping for better news, but you’re right. God is good and has a plan. We will keep praying for you and your family. We think of you a lot. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. IMO, that takes a lot of courage. I would normally keep my struggles to myself which is why I think you are very brave to talk about it. We love you and we are not losing hope! Praying likewise you don’t get discouraged. Oh and yay for the hair!
Thanks Kristin!
Dear Jennifer, You are such an encouragement to me and all who read your blog. Prayers continue as we lift you up and surround you with love and faith. ❤️ Patti Eddy and family
Thanks for praying with us Patti!
Precious Jennifer, there are no adequate words for what you are going through except for the words that Jesus himself would have uttered. He said, “I am LIFE.” He is the eternal life that this fallen world cannot destroy. Jesus wept, and we weep with you. Jesus was moved with compassion and we are deeply moved on your behalf. We may not be able to visit with you at your house, but our thoughts and prayers are constantly with you and the whole family. You are amazing to fight the way you have fought, for your life and for your family. Thank you for your strong example and determination. I love the song you posted. We send our love and hugs; we hold you in our arms and rock you in our prayers, hoping that something will still give you hope and improved health.
Thanks Mom #2. That means so much to me! Please keep checking in on my Dad. 🙂
Love and prayers are with you and the entire Family ❤️❤️
Thank you Pat! 🙂
Oh wow, did not want to hear that news and then you go on about honoring God and He has given you this trial and He will see you through it. What a testimony to the faithfulness of God you are living. Touching so many especially during these times. Touching my heart changing me. You are such a blessing to so many. God is using you mightily. My husband asks about you. Touching his heart. Thank you! Continuing to pray for you, both of us.
Thank you for sharing that with me Joanne. 🙂
Jen,
I am so very sorry to hear this news. I am at a loss for words but just know i continue to pray for you and Tom and those beautiful girls. God is good and even in this he is still good!
Thanks Stella. I appreciate it!
Dear Jennifer,
If God decides to take you to heaven, I know your husband, 3 darling children and parents will cherish the letters you have written to them. I had a dear friend that died of bone cancer. I flew to Virginia and had a lovely visit with her when she was so sick. I took a movie of her talking to each of her children, her mother and husband. I made copies and after she passed away, I sent them. They cried but were so blessed with the memories. Thinking of you with love. I pray you can throw the cards away also.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Blessings, Carol Moser, Donna’s Mom
Oh Carol – what a wonderful idea! I’m sure your friend was so thankful you helped her with that!
Please, let us know if you need/want anything! We are here!
I appreciate the offer and will let you know if something comes up.
As our church was praying tonight on zoom your Leaving Cancer Behind announcement came across my screen right at the appropriate time. I am so thankful that you are making some wise decisions about what you are going to do. Thank you for the wonderful song. I do pray for you and your family at least every morning and evening. Today God has shown me that He does wonderful miracles in the worst of the storms. Thank you Jesus for what you are doing.
That’s great! Thank you so much for your support Bob and for sharing part of your life with Alpha with me as you feel is appropriate. That has been such an encouragement to me.
Sweet friend,
This isn’t the news any of us wanted to hear. However, I trust God and His plan as He continues to lead you (and us) on this journey. What a perfect song! Praying you continue to feel His peace and lean on Him for strength and clarity. I love you and am beyond proud of you, my friend. Porch visit real soon!
Would love a porch visit and would love to snuggle your cute dog during our visit!
Jennifer, continue to be amazed at your faith through all of this…I am praying for you and your family…abs for moments of encouragement just like that song…love you.
Heather
Thank you my friend. 🙂 Miss you!
Sending you lots of love, Jennifer! I think of you and your family often. <3
Thanks Katie!
Our family has been and will continue to lift you up in prayer. Love you friend ❤️
Thank you Jen. We appreciate it!
My heart aches for you and your family and I pray God will give you many hugs many times a day every day to let you tangibly know He is right there with you, especially during those hours, minutes, seconds when you really need that hug.
Thanks for that reminder Barbara! 🙂
Jen, God is using your testimony to minister to others! Keep standing on His Word. May He be ever close to you during this time and my prayer will continually be that He will guard and protect not only your head full of hair, but your precious heart and mind in Christ Jesus! Lots of love, Bonnie
Thanks Bonnie!
Jennifer , we are so sorry . We think of you everyday praying things will be better for you . Prayers to lift you up .
Thank you Pat. Hope you are doing well.
Beautiful, trusting lyrics to keep you buoyed and above the waters. Your faith radiates out from your suffering as bright as a lighthouse in the darkened sky. Praying for divine moments of His marvelous grace which holds your family tight.
Love ❤️ you and trust He will get you through!
Thanks Marilee!
Jennifer we are continuing to pray for you, what a privilege, your trust in our Father is a beautiful testimony! Love, Chuck and Bobbie
Thanks Bobbie!
I haven’t ever heard that song before, but what amazing truths-this is a the truth I’m standing on!! I will continue to pray for strength and wisdom!!
I just heard it for the first time a few weeks ago and just love it! Thanks for praying with us Cindy!
I was so hoping for a better result. I’ve been praying for you and Tom and the girls. I know none of this surprised the Lord. I also know as hard as it is to sometimes believe God does have a good plan for your life. I will continue to pray for God’s comfort, peace, and healing for you.
Thanks Jennifer. Watching you and your kids for the past 3 years has helped me realize Tom and the girls will be ok when I’m gone. ❤️
That song was so beautiful! I am putting it on my phone for myself and to share with others. Our great God is forever loving, forever faithful, forever good, forever comforting, forever merciful, forever with you and the list goes on and on. We have an absolutely AMAZING God, who is holding you in the palm of His hand in the midst of this difficult trial. He has used you in so many lives through your journey with Him. You have made His light shine so brightly through your words and through your life Jennifer. You have been a beautiful example of a woman who is walking faithfully with her Lord, trusting Him for every minute, over every hill and valley. Thank you for being a beautiful example for Jesus Christ. Praying for you throughout each day, knowing He will never leave you or forsake you because you are His forever. Ps 73:26
Thank you for the encouragement Diane.