This morning I briefly chatted with a women while waiting for radiation. She was there to support her 87 year old mother who was just starting radiation. This is her 3rd time brining someone into this office for radiation. Through the brief conversation she said her late daughter-in-law and late husband had both received treatment here.
Everyone who I meet in that room has a story to tell, and this one just brought a flood of emotions and thoughts this morning, mostly about my Mom. Tears were running down my face (well the side of my face since I was laying down) during radiation. I was trying not to sob as I thought that might be too much movement and I didn’t want them to have to come back in and realign me. The 16 seconds of my treatment today and the minute before and after where I have to lie perfectly still felt like an eternity. (Yes, this current treatment lasts only 16 seconds. I drive an hour a day for 16 seconds of treatment. Ugh!!)
I haven’t really thought about cancer that much this past 6 weeks, which is funny since my life revolves around radiation right now. This treatment hasn’t stopped me from doing anything, except maybe sleeping a few times. So it really has felt like a job. It’s only been the last few days it’s felt more like treatment and less like a job since my skin is really bothering me.
I cried to Tom on the phone on the way home and it was nice to just hear his voice. 🙂 Sarah took the girls to a movie this afternoon, so I’ve been able to rest a little and I read back through some of my old blog posts. They were a great reminder of how God has been with me each step of this journey so far and I know He will continue to be there in the future.
As I look ahead to this last week of active treatment, I’m not really sure how to feel or think. While I’ll be taking a pill daily and getting an infusion every 6 weeks, my life will no longer revolve around Dr. appointments, at least for now. You would think I’d be jumping for joy as active treatment comes to an end. But for now, but I’m just a ball of emotions.
So for today, I pray for peace and help in living in the day and not worrying about big changes in the next few weeks. I pray for distractions so I don’t constantly think about my irritated skin from radiation. And I pray for a few less emotions coming and going so I can enjoy the afternoon/evening with Sarah and the girls.
Matthew 6:34 – “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I am so sorry you had a tuff day. Prayers to help you with your emotions and to help you get through all the rest of your treatments. You are still such a strong young lady. We are very proud of you.
You have handle all of your treatments with such bravery. God bless you, Tom, and the girls.
Remember when we first met before all of your treatment and I told you if you had radiation we talk about it then? Well let’s talk about it now! I got very very red with lots of big blisters and the only thing that finally saved me from the pain was Mepilex. It comes in a large sheet maybe 12 x 12 no actually I think it’s bigger than that. You put it directly on your skin and immediately my pain was gone! Perhaps it would help your itching… in fact I’m sure it will. You can cut the mediplex to fit the area that you need the help. Next time you’re in radiation ask for some. I don’t know why they don’t think of it but a nurse is the one that gave it to me and I thought she knew more than the doctors at that point haha. Certainly can’t hurt to try and I pray that this will work for you as it did for me.
The nurse mentioned it when we talked on the phone on Friday. I’m going to see her on Monday and ask for it. Thanks Janet!!
Praying for your sweet heart. Jesus was catching all those sweet tears of love for your mama! He is holding you both. We’re still praying for healing. You are in the palm of His hands! Love you!
Oh I’m so sorry u had a rough day but so glad Sarah was there for you. Nice that she took the girls to a movie. I’m sure there is just so much going on in your mind when you are finally nearing the end of most treatments. But we are expecting a miracle because we know HE can do it. Hang in there my darling.
Jennifer, I’m sorry you were having an emotional day on Friday. Even after reading all of your blogs I can’t even imagine what you have had to endure all those months. The Lord has given you so much. Strength, courage, His grace which is sufficient, many friends to lighten your burden, and a loving and supportive husband; not to mention, great medical care. He collects all your tears in a bottle and He will never leave you nor forsake you. You are His child. We will pray for His perfect peace for you and healing. Have fun with your sweet girls this summer. Love, Jan
May God’s peace that surpasses our understanding be yours today and in the days ahead 🙂