I REALLY thought that after active cancer treatments were over, things would just get back to normal.

That is so far from reality.

I had no idea.

There is a new normal, but it’s very different than before.  

One of my girls asked me if I thought about cancer every day.  I guess the answer would be yes…and no.  I don’t think about it in the same way as when I was going through active treatments, but it’s still in the back of my mind.  I wonder if and when that will change???

I called Tom crying this morning as my body was throbbing so much and I was having a moment of worry that the pain might be from cancer instead of a side effect from a hormone blocking pill.  (I’m on day 3 of no pill, praying and waiting that the bone pain will stop soon.)

I had a good cry and spent time in prayer after I got off the phone with him.

This new normal is much harder than I thought it would be.

However, in the midst of pain this week,  I have seen God’s grace.  He has graciously lifted the pain for a few hours each evening while I worked at VBS.  Last night, my acting skills were tested as I was hurting at the beginning, but didn’t want that to show on stage.  The pain went away shortly and I was able to stay, although I did sit down a bit more than usual.  Thank you for everyone who has been praying specifically for my pain during VBS each evening!

Thinking about life after cancer treatments, I guess I just want people to know that the struggle continues long after treatment ends…struggles with worry, with maintenance and preventive medications and the side effects that come with them, with fatigue, with a different looking body, with changes in your body that are a result of surgery or very strong drugs and with daily giving fears over to God.

Thanks for being on this journey with us.  Apparently, it’s a much longer journey than we had originally thought it would be.



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