Tags: Chemo

(Written on Saturday)

This whole “living one day at a time thing” is hard.

If you’ve been following me on this journey for any amount of time, you know I struggle with letting my mind wander and worry about all the possible “what-ifs” of my diagnosis.  The only way I have been able to function is to remember that God has given me TODAY.  There’s no promise of tomorrow.  All I have is today.  So I’m focusing on living one day at a time and trusting and knowing that God will be with me, no matter what comes with each new day that He gives me.

Today was a bit of a whirlwind, full of goodbyes, hellos, instruction, exhaustion, frustration, rest, etc.  It was one of those days where I’m both physically and emotionally exhausted by the end of the day as a parent.

Here’s how my day went . . .

Goodbye

We started off the morning taking my friend Sarah to the airport.  The last 4 days have been so wonderful.  I’m not sure if I had more energy and felt better because she was here helping, because I was excited to have a friend to hang out with 24/7, or because it just happened to be a few good days in a row.  But whatever the case, They have been great.  It was hard to say goodbye to her today, but I’m so thankful for my time with her!

Hello

Today I was able to meet my friend’s newborn who I (and many others) have been praying for.  She is the tinyiest little thing and just adorable.  What a joy it was to hold her, feed her and chat with my friend for a bit today.  She has been such an encouragnemtn to me over the past months and I’m very thankful for the short time I had with her today.

Instruction

It was one of those parenting days.  The kind where you get to sit down on your child’s bed and have to talk to them about something that they are struggling with.  The topic of today’s talk was contentment, which I will admit, I often struggle with as well.  It’s not easy to admit to your child that you are struggling with the very think you are trying to help them with or point out to them they are doing wrong.  Why is being content with what we have or where we are in life so hard sometimes?  Why do we so often compare ourselves to others?

Philippians 4 keeps coming up as I struggle with things.  Today, it was the middle part of the chapter where Paul is talking about being content in whatever situation he is in.  While the conversation with my daughter today was more about being content with what she has and not wanting what her friends has, it made me stop and think about myself and my contentment with where God has me in life right now.  Don’t you just love it when you learn something or are reminded of something for yourself when you are trying to teach one of your kids?

Exhaustion

I’m exhausted from being a parent.  Enough said. Oh, and I’m going through chemo too.

Frustration

Ditto to what I said under exhaustion.

Rest

The girls played at a friends house and I was able to sneak in a rest in the afternoon.  I was pretty tired, so it was nice to put my feet up and relax on the bed for a bit.

Moving on to today (Sunday)

Someone make the world stop spinning.

Sometime in the middle of Sunday School everything started spinning around me.  I seem to get dizzy every Sunday, usually around 10 am.  I have no idea why at that time, but this week was no exception.  By the time we got home I was feeling not only dizzy but nauseous.  The girls made lunch for themselves and for me and I called a friend to come over and help for the afternoon.  Marcia was so helpful and played games with the girls, helped with laundry and sat and talked with me.  The dizziness went away before dinner and the rest of the night was OK.

Wish I knew why I get so dizzy every week on this day, but for now it’s a mystery!

Looking ahead to this week, the girls go back to school, I have a Dr. appointment on Tuesday (just the usual check-up) and I have round 15 of chemo on Wednesday.  I’m so ready to be done with this phase of treatment!!!

That’s about it from here.  Only 10 days ’til my last chemo infusion!  Woohoo!!