I was browsing through social media today and was reading a post of an author I follow. She is just getting over COVID. She was describing how she felt for the past 2 weeks and was so thankful to be feeling better. I am so happy for her and am thankful she could deal with it at home and didn’t have to go to the ER.
But it’s not fair…so many of her symptoms, many of the ones she said were the worst she had felt her entire life, and how hard it was because it was so many days in a row, I deal with every day. That is my life…for the rest of my life.
When is it my turn to feel better? Why do so many people get to feel better and get back to normal and I don’t? It’s not fair.
I know. Life’s not fair But it’s hard to see people get sick and get better while I just sit here sick all the time!
Why am I taking medicines that make me miserable and require more medicine or supplements just to tolerate them? So I can lay in bed and watch TV all day? So I can have a few moments each day with my family? So I can look around at all the things I could be doing if I didn’t have Stage IV cancer? What do You want from me God?? The tears won’t stop today.
In case you haven’t figured it out yet. I’m having a really hard day(s). No, I’m not going to kill myself. Please don’t start texting Tom to go in and check on me. He knows what’s going on. But this is part of the journey….watching others get sick and then get better, while I remain sick. When do I get to feel better? The answer? When we find a cure for cancer, the Lord takes me home to Heaven, or the Lord returns for all of His believers. I am ready anytime Lord. Just waiting on You…
❤️
Your right it is not fair! I wish I could fix it but I can’t so I will do what I can and that is to support you and your family in prayer and whatever else may be needed that I am capable of doing. Much love to you each and every day.
Oh Jennifer.. as always I am thinking of and praying for you and your family. I hope you know why an inspiration you are to all of us.. so much love your way.
Sending you a big hug, dear friend, and that you can feel our heavenly Father’s loving arms embrace you tonight. One day at a time. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. You are a blessing and helping and will be helping so many people in the future. I wish I would have read this when I was going through this with my wife. In fact you are a blessing to me now. You ask questions and we cannot answer. When we get to Heaven and see the face of Jesus face to face the answers will not matter. I may be writing this more for me tonight than for you. May you feel the love of Jesus here so you can share His love with your husband, girls, and friends. I continue to pray for all of you. With His Love, Bob
It absolutely isn’t fair. None of it. All of it. I love you and I hope sharing here helps. There’s plenty of love for your truth! xoxo, Shanna
I pray every day for the Lord to perform a miracle and heal you completely. I’m sorry for your bad days and I know there are others who would be glad to take the pain away if only we could. Thank you for sharing your journey- the good and the bad. No, it’s not fair, I agree. Praying for you, your family, for comfort, for peace, for healing. You are loved deeply by so many, I hope that helps in some small way. Much love and prayers, Gail
When Heaven stands before me and I am home at last, I will not remember the worries of the past; I will not be aware of all The trials in this life, The many times I shed some tears, The troubles and the strife, For I will have before me All the glories spread above. The meaning of it all will be Quite softened by his love. by Bonnie Nelson I pray tomorrow you will have a better day. Blessings, Carol
Oh Jennifer, I too am so ready for Jesus to come and take us All home. This life is so not fair, and I wish things were different for you, and Tom and the girls. It is so hard when we can’t see the Big picture from God’s eternal perspective and even harder to understand “why”. I continue to pray for God to meet you right where you are, and meet the needs that only He can. I am sure this journey is filled with a sense of helpless at times,so I do pray that knowing He is always aware and in control brings comfort. You are amazingly strong and courageous, and a blessing to do many. Love you. Wendy
Praying for you and your family!
Absolutely, come Lord Jesus! The devil is breaking up tight knit families over ridiculous stuff. We’re feeling it. It’s unbelievable!! Thank God we are grounded in him and not on the things of this world. I pray you feel better till that time comes.
I hope today is a better day than yesterday. Never apologize for feeling the way you feel. Each person with cancer has to muddle through the best way they can. There will always be good and not so good days, but always know, your supporters are standing with you. We’re here to love you and encourage you. We’ll even help hold up your arms if you need us to like Aaron and Hur did for Moses!
I wish I could put my arms around you and cry with you…(I am in my heart).You are both a “prayer request” and an encouragement to me. I know you didn’t ask for this, and it breaks my heart that this is your life…as it did when your precious Mother was walking this same road. I don’t know the “why”, but I do know that God is using you to teach us what faithfulness in the face of pain, hardship, and uncertainty looks like. You always take my mind back to the song “He Giveth More Grace” and you are showing me/us what that looks like. Praying daily for you, Tom and the girls, that He would wrap His arms of love around you and allow you to feel the presence of His “Unseen Hand”… (another song that comes to mind as I pray for you).
Praying you will be free of pain…or at least able to manage it successfully….and that you will have the strength that you need for this day.
(Including your Dad in these prayers as well…)
Thank you for your honesty my friend… i think all of us wish we could take away the pain and “make” you feel better… but we will continue to ask God to be merciful and help you in your “now” moments that are so very tough to face. As someone else mentioned – you are both a “prayer request” and an encouragement to me and many many others! Hugs to you and lots of love to you today.
Jennifer, my heart hurts for you. There is so much I do not understand about what is happening here on earth and your diagnosis and daily hurt is at the top of my list. I love you. I believe the words of Romans 8:28. Lifting you up in my prayers.
Sending love & prayers!
My love and my prayers to you and Tom.
It makes me so sad to read this. Life is certainly not fair. I am still praying that God will give us a miracle. I know how hard it is for you each day and hard on Tom and the girls. Yet you continue to be amazing and a wonderful witness for our Lord. Praying you’ll only have good days. I love you Jennifer.
Thank you for being honest with your feelings! I feel that way, too.
Maranatha!
You’re right. This sucks and it’s not fair. I’m so sorry. Thank you for your transparency. Praying for you!