Normal Mom things . . . watching your 5th grader perform in an assembly at school, eating lunch with your 8 year old at school on her birthday . . . I love doing “normal” Mom things.
It was so strange signing in at the office at the girls’ school today. It had been a long time. I used to be there multiple times a week. I miss it. But I am so thankful that today I was doing well enough to make it to school twice in one day (using hand sanitizer and washing my hands right away afterwards).
The end of the week has been easier than the first part of the week. Thankfully I’m done having a pity party for myself and I am so thankful to have been able to get out of the house and keep busy the past few days. I feel so much better when my mind is busy and I have something to think about besides cancer.
On Thursday, Bible Study started again and it was good to be back! Today, I enjoyed time at the girls’ school and celebrating our 8 year old’s birthday. And tomorrow (Saturday) we are celebrating the birthday girl more with friends! It’s not much, but it’s enough for this tired Mom.
As I reflect back on the week (and really the past couple months), I’ve learned a few things about myself:
- I enjoy being at home, but need to get out and not hide at home when I’m discouraged.
- If I don’t stop and pray for someone when I say I’m going to, I will forget. I love stopping in the middle of things and praying as things come to my mind. (And it’s been good for my kids to see me do this.)
- My brain does not work the same as it used to. I have trouble recalling simple words sometimes and can’t seem to focus to figure anything complicated out. (Fortunately, I don’t really need to figure anything out right now.)
- Music, the words and the memories that come with it, are a wonderful distraction when I am depressed. Not only do I need to pick up scripture to read (thanks Judy for those notecards full of scriptures. I poured through those a few times this week!), I need to sit down at the piano and just sing (or attempt to as chemo seems to have stolen part of my range.) Today Tom and I sat at the piano for over an hour and just sang. The songs were old – but memories of Reseda Baptist, APU and Christ Community Church came flooding back with each song – picturing a director as we sang, hearing a friend’s voice in my head, remembering a choir tour, and at one point, telling Tom I wanted the song we were singing to be sung at my funeral and who I wanted to sing it. (Maybe I should have kept that comment to myself and just written it down for another time. Oh well.)
- I think too much about dying. (See previous comment about funeral song.)
Tonight, or this morning, depending on when you are reading this, will you please pray for our day tomorrow (Saturday)? My plan for pain isn’t working quite as good as it did last week as I started aching tonight after dinner. Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day out of the house, so I’m praying I’ll wake up feeling better. If not, it will just be a painful day out of the house. I’m not missing our 8 year old’s birthday party!
If there is something specific I can pray for you, please email me and let me know!
So much to be thankful for . . .
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Praying ♥ I hope that whatever pain you end up with (and, I hope it’s none!) will not keep you from enjoying the day with your b-day girl and the rest of your family ♥
Praying for you this morning, enjoy the day of celebration.
Praying for you sweet Jennifer, that God would constantly remind you that He is your strength. May your birthday celebration be filled with lots of love and laughter. God bless you for sharing your story with us and for being so open, honest, and real. This lets us know how to pray for you and where you are struggling.
Enjoy your day out. Have fun celebrating. Your in our thoughts and prayers.
The good moments mean so much more, when they are followed by bad ones. I am so glad you got to go to the girls’ school and have lunch with Molly!! Prayers today for the party. I hope you feel less pain and can celebrate with your daughter and her friends!! I wish they had a Bible study when I had cancer…..nothing better to take your mind off yourself than God’s Word and prayer for others!! I would get on a pray sight and encourage others who lost loved ones or had a very sick loved one. Since they say “Music soothes the savage beast.” (Not that I was savage), I always turned to the hymns I grew up with. Music was such a comfort!! Praying your aches are few, your treatments be uneventful, your week a good one, and your memories precious ones!! Love and HUGS to you Jennifer!!
I’m so glad you are able to get out & enjoy things with your family. Music is truly a gift from God to us & an awesome means to worship Him. Thank you for sharing how you are feeling mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually. It really empowers me to pray specifically, and your blog is a good reminder for me to pray for others. It also reminds me that our days are numbered on this earth & we all are dying one way or another. We heard a message this morning about praying confidently, as heirs, not begging but knowing God wants to give us the best. It really made me think about how I pray! It is a priveledge to pray & it is a blessing to see how He answers our prayers.
Praying for you & a great birthday for all who attend.
In awe of Him, Lisa
Great reminders about prayer. Thanks Lisa.
I’m praying for you now – it’s Saturday afternoon and I’m thinking you may be tired. My prayer is that our Lord gives you the strength to make it a few more hours so that you can enjoy your sweet girl’s birthday.
It is hard to read about plans for your funeral. Just saying. I know it is all part of the process – part of the fight. And that you need to say and write those thoughts down. It is important for you to verbalize all that you are going through. Thank you for sharing them, though I hate to read it. I just want you to know that you are an amazing and courageous woman. I am blessed to know you. I so wish I could be there and do more. My deepest, most fervent prayer – each and every day – is that the Lord cures you. That you and Tom celebrate many many many more years together and look back at this time period as something that altered your lives, but didn’t keep you from loving the Lord, raising your girls to know Him, and making a difference for Him. That your battle helped others overcome their challenges and most of all that you get to experience the beauty and impact you had during this phase of life. Much love, today and every day, Sarah
Oh the funeral thing . . . I remembering not wanting to hear my Mom talk about it. But now I get it. I’m so excited to see you next month!!!
Jennifer, I pray every day for you. I think you are showing strength beyond your years, and your girls are so blessed to have you for their Mom. God saves all our tears in a bottle, and He uses them as a tranquilizer. It’s ok to express your feelings, and we are so grateful to lift you in prayer as you walk on this journey. God bless you, sweetheart!