Normal Mom things . . . watching your 5th grader perform in an assembly at school, eating lunch with your 8 year old at school on her birthday . . . I love doing “normal” Mom things.
It was so strange signing in at the office at the girls’ school today. It had been a long time. I used to be there multiple times a week. I miss it. But I am so thankful that today I was doing well enough to make it to school twice in one day (using hand sanitizer and washing my hands right away afterwards).
The end of the week has been easier than the first part of the week. Thankfully I’m done having a pity party for myself and I am so thankful to have been able to get out of the house and keep busy the past few days. I feel so much better when my mind is busy and I have something to think about besides cancer.
On Thursday, Bible Study started again and it was good to be back! Today, I enjoyed time at the girls’ school and celebrating our 8 year old’s birthday. And tomorrow (Saturday) we are celebrating the birthday girl more with friends! It’s not much, but it’s enough for this tired Mom.
As I reflect back on the week (and really the past couple months), I’ve learned a few things about myself:
- I enjoy being at home, but need to get out and not hide at home when I’m discouraged.
- If I don’t stop and pray for someone when I say I’m going to, I will forget. I love stopping in the middle of things and praying as things come to my mind. (And it’s been good for my kids to see me do this.)
- My brain does not work the same as it used to. I have trouble recalling simple words sometimes and can’t seem to focus to figure anything complicated out. (Fortunately, I don’t really need to figure anything out right now.)
- Music, the words and the memories that come with it, are a wonderful distraction when I am depressed. Not only do I need to pick up scripture to read (thanks Judy for those notecards full of scriptures. I poured through those a few times this week!), I need to sit down at the piano and just sing (or attempt to as chemo seems to have stolen part of my range.) Today Tom and I sat at the piano for over an hour and just sang. The songs were old – but memories of Reseda Baptist, APU and Christ Community Church came flooding back with each song – picturing a director as we sang, hearing a friend’s voice in my head, remembering a choir tour, and at one point, telling Tom I wanted the song we were singing to be sung at my funeral and who I wanted to sing it. (Maybe I should have kept that comment to myself and just written it down for another time. Oh well.)
- I think too much about dying. (See previous comment about funeral song.)
Tonight, or this morning, depending on when you are reading this, will you please pray for our day tomorrow (Saturday)? My plan for pain isn’t working quite as good as it did last week as I started aching tonight after dinner. Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day out of the house, so I’m praying I’ll wake up feeling better. If not, it will just be a painful day out of the house. I’m not missing our 8 year old’s birthday party!
If there is something specific I can pray for you, please email me and let me know!
So much to be thankful for . . .
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