It’s been a while…sorry for the lack of updates. I’ve been hesitant to write a post as I don’t want to come across as complaining. I also know my brain is in a bit of a fog and I’m not sure how coherent a post would have been a few days ago. 🙂 My brain has started to work again (off and on) and I have been able to get out of the house a little bit, although it makes me a little anxious. Home is just the most comfortable place to be right now.
My appetite is back, so eating and drinking are not a problem, although not much still sounds good to eat. Unfortunately, plain water and coffee both taste horrible to me. WHAT???? So instead of coffee with half and half every morning, I’m now “enjoying” some herbal tea. 🙁 Lattes and juice are still yummy. Thank goodness. 🙂
I’m still dealing with side effects and trying to figure those out. I’m not sure what happened last night, but I had a huge anxiety attack that came out of no where – totally unlike me. It left me pretty much paralyzed in bed. It was crazy. I was tired of not sleeping, so I think I might have weaned off my steroid too fast…not sure if that caused it. The Dr. on call didn’t think so, but who knows. I took some anxiety medicine last night which helped and I was able to sleep. However, because of that, I’ve been pretty out of of it today and couldn’t drive or think clearly. But at least I’m able to function somewhat. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. It was crazy! Glad that’s over…
Today I’ve been sitting down most of the day as I’m super dizzy. I’ve been dizzy off and on for the past week and the anxiety med. from last night definitely made it worse. I’m not sure what drug is causing it overall….the list of drugs is very long and it’s a side effect from every one. So today I’ve moved a load of laundry from the dryer to the kids’ rooms, moved laundry from the washer to the dryer, organized addresses for our Christmas cards on the computer and organized a few tubs in my closet……and that’s it. Super productive day. When I have days like this, I find myself just sitting in my favorite chair and staring across the room. It’s strange. There’s just not a lot I can focus on right now. During the times my brain is working well, I struggle with it and wish I could be more productive. Other times, I just don’t care. Today I just don’t care. 🙂
The Lord is still allowing challenges besides my health to pile on and we are overwhelmed many days. Sometimes Tom and I just look at each other without words…unsure of what to say or do, but still trusting that God is in control in the midst of what feels like total chaos with everything totally out of our control.
I’m trying to not get discouraged, but it’s a daily fight, sometimes even a minute by minute fight. Each day is new and it’s a surprise how I will feel when I wake up. I know my body is still getting used to the chemo pills and the drugs I am taking so my body can handle those pills. The nausea is under control. My bowels….well it seems to be back and forth between diarrhea and constipation. I would guess I will settle into some sort of normal as my body adjusts to the medicine. I have been on it for a total of 3 weeks now, but only 2 of those have I really been able to eat a normal diet.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. (My house smells so good right now, because even in the midst of chaos and total exhaustion, Tom wants to cook the entire Thanksgiving dinner.) Tomorrow, my Aunt and Uncle and 4 friends are coming over for dinner. With how horrible I have been feeling, I was not up to company all week, so my Dad ended up not coming up for Thanksgiving. I am thankful for his understanding, but am sad about it and we’ll miss him and Else tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving, Jennifer!
Thanks for the hug Sunday. So glad I caught up to you. ❤
Happy Thanksgivin Jennifer. Praying for you in the quietness before the busy day is un full swing. I pray that the Lord blesses and encourages you in many ways today. Hugs from PA
I will call you tomorrow. Sorry your Dad will not be with you.
I love you all and pray for you all the time. I wish I could visit right now and help out. Unfortunately I still have CDIF. I am in arizona with Darlyne, Hyong and Grace. We had a great time with Kirsten. David, Drew, Grant and Kalle last Friday thru Monday morning.
I pray you and your family will have a restful and relaxing Thanksgiving together. Love and prayers to all your family.
Thank you for sharing and glad you are doing better. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and may your family have a great time. May all that are with you have many things to be thankful for.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and the family! Thank you for the update. We are praying for you today and often as the Lord brings you to our hearts and minds. May you enjoy the holiday with some family and friends and be able to relax and rest in small ways with family and friends around. I am sure your house smells amazing!! Tom is a fantastic cook and we wish we could join you all for the holiday meal. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you Jennifer for the updates. We pray and think of you daily. So happy to hear you are eating some now . It miss our house smelling like Thanksgiving, because we got to our daughters Tracy’s home for dinner . I am sure Tom has the house smelling fabulous. Happy Thanksgiving to you , Tom and the girls. Praying everyday for you. Please tell Tom his uncle Dennis and Pat say hello . God Bless .
Jennifer and family. Happy Thanksgiving Day! So glad you’re getting better little by little. We (Quinn and I) think about you and often just stop and pray for you. So glad to hear you’re having a celebration today and get to enjoy family and friends.
Happy Thanksgiving Tom Jennifer and Family. Wishing you peace and love and Thankfulness for God and His Love.
I’m praying for more good and restful days for you.
I can smell your house from here of course we now what a great cook he is and are very thankful that he is cooking for all of you.
Do your best sweetheart that’s all you can do, we all know and understand and love you more than you know.
Jennifer, I am thankful for your determination and your resilience. No matter what you’re going through you keep pushing ahead, even if only little by little. That’s a wonderful thing and a testament to your strength of character. God bless you as you place one foot in front of the other daily. This season will be a short one, I pray. You and your sweet family continue to be in my prayers. Happy Thanksgiving to you. With love, Bonnie
Happy Thanksgiving to the Smalls! Thank you for posting, every one is fuel for prayer. I thank God for your desire to honor Him and trust Him in all the chaos. That’s the heart that He’s after in all our circumstances, and that glorifies Him and witnesses to others. I’m also encouraged by your long-term perspective about your body handling the drugs, that can be so hard not to only think about the immediate discomfort, I’m really proud of you for any times you can see beyond that. And a small side note, as a mom with 4 little kids at home, what you got done in one day sounded super – I guess “productive” is relative : )