Wasn’t it just yesterday we were taking pictures of the girls getting ready to start 1st, 2nd and 5th grades?

How is it that in about a half an hour, the girls will get off the bus and the year will be over?

5th 2nd 1st

I had such big and fun plans for my time during the day when the kids were at school. Little did I know that I would be diagnosed with breast cancer just 4 days after school started.

This year, I missed volunteering in their classrooms.

I missed having lunch with them at school.

I missed going on field trips.

I missed helping with classroom parties.

I’m blessed to be a stay at home mom. I’m supposed to be able to do these things!

I missed almost all of it.

This makes me sad and angry!

Instead of doing all these things, I was fighting for my life.

I was going to Dr. appointments and treatments instead of getting to be a mom.

I was laying on the bed or sitting on the couch watching others help with homework, AWANA verses and piano practicing.

I feel like I blinked and it’s time for summer again.

Tears came to my eyes as I sat at the 5th grade talent show at school this morning and listened to our 11 year old perform. She has grown up so much this year and in just a few minutes will no longer be in elementary school.  I missed her last year of elementary school! 🙁

This is the last day ever all 3 girls will ride the same bus to school.

This is the last day ever all 3 girls will be at the same school.

I missed so much!

I have a few memories of the past 9 months, but they are really very limited.

Ugh!!

Well no matter how sad and angry I am at this cancer right now, I am thankful to be alive and to have made it through the school year.

I am determined to not let radiation rob me of this summer at home with my girls.

I’m sure many days it’s going to be a fight as side effects start to appear and as I tire of driving 30 minutes each way to radiation. But even this horrible back pain which is trying to ruin my day, has to be put aside and be replaced with a happy face as the kids get off the bus and we eat ice cream sundaes for lunch.

So Cancer, in the midst of fun, games, swimming, attitudes and siblings fighting, you will not rob me of time with my family – even those difficult moments when I don’t have any idea what to do as a parent.  (OK, you can rob me of those if you want.)  The summer is mine, not yours!

Always something to be thankful for…

Jennifer

 

PS: No side effects from the Zometa, but still very severe back pain which is making it hard to do things around the house. Hope the kids are ready to do dishes and laundry for me!

Update 8:30 pm

Side effects (achiness, fever, shaking) hit hard around 4:45.  That along with severe back pain forced me to call Tom to come home and Christy to come help until he got home; My fever is down but still not feeling great.  Please pray the pain in my back will lessen enough so I can sleep tonight.  I’m going to try to see my oncologist tomorrow just to touch base about everything that’s going on.

 

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