A lot has happened since I wrote last. My attention span isn’t very long, but I’ll try my best to give you an update.
I came home from the hospital with a pain management plan and a bowel management plan. Ready or not….we were headed back home!
Once we got home, thanks to Amazon and a medical supply store near the hospital, we got a few things to make things possible for me to function at home without Tom having to help me with everything! I am using a cane to keep me steady as I walk. We have a long reach toilet aid tool…quickly moving on…a bed assist rail, a beautiful new toilet seat with handles, a handle in the shower for balance and a grabber/reacher tool so I can pick things up off the floor (or try and pinch the girls).
I feel so old!
Sigh!
The new toilet seat it getting a lot of use – you’re welcome for that piece of information. This is the first day in a few weeks that my diaphragm hasn’t been severely painful! I think I only look 3 months pregnant instead of 4. We still have a ways to go, but the Lactulose, Miralax, Dulcolax, Metoclopramide and Senna are all doing their job. At some point, we’ll be able to slow down or even cut one or two out, but not for a bit. So for now, I’m staying close to the bathroom. đ
It’s funny that I’m this far into a blog post and haven’t even started to talk about the new chemo I started on Monday!
I was still in horrendous pain on Monday when I went in for chemo. Dr. Leung came down and revised my pain meds a little more and it seems to be working! Thank you Lord!! They also gave me some pain meds via IV at the infusion center, which helped ease the pain for the ride home!
Because I know you all care – here’s what’s taped on the back of one of our cabinet doors:
Plus there is Chemo on Mondays (2 weeks on, one week off) and Zometa (once a month).
If you need to pick your jaw up off the floor, go ahead.
I can wait.
That’s a lot of medicine and supplements.
This is what my journey looks like as I fight Stage IV breast cancer. Not everyone will take this approach. But for me (us), we are still happy with my care and treatment.
My Oncologist recommended seeing someone up at Seattle Cancer Alliance to talk about clinical trials and I had the appointment booked until yesterday. I know that there are different types of clinical trials and different levels. But that’s about all I know.
However, right now, I just need to get poop out of my body!! SERIOUSLY! I can’t think about anything else.
So after I broke down while looking at my calendar yesterday, I decided that that is going to wait for a bit!! I cancelled the appointment.
Ugh!
So what else?
A few times today I have noticed my hands have felt warm and little tingly. Peripheral neuropathy is a common side effect with this new chemo I am on, so I’ll keep notes on that. I was up and down today more than yesterday, so that’s great.
On top of this craziness, life still goes on….friends die, another friend finds out a new diagnosis, remote learning continues, COVID continues…the list goes on. As I was thinking about all these things at the infusion center the baby song went off twice. (Every time a baby is born at the hospital they play a few bars of “Nighty Night and Good Night”). I heard that 2 times when I was at the infusion center and even more when I was in the hospital for a few days. I love that!
I’m struggling to get past all the negative and the hard parts of life (which seem like almost everything). Please pray that I will try and look for the good in every situation, instead of just dwelling on the bad.
Coming up this week – we have Tom’s parents and Alyssa visiting. đ I have chemo on Monday and I also have an MRI on Monday to look at my abdomen, specifically my liver, but also to see how the stool and gas is moving out.
Thank you for continuing to pray for us and for caring for us in as many ways as COVID allows. đ
Oh Jennifer you are amazing. Continued prayer for all of you. I love you and to our Father the great physician I pray He will heal your body.
Thank you for sharing so well Jennifer, we really want to know how to pray, itâs a privilege to lift you to our Father dear friend and your family! We love you! Chuck and Bobbie
So glad youâre home and looking towards a future. We all need to be doing that as itâs been quite a year for all of us but moreso for you. Praying for your system to clear out of poop, gas and drugs and cancer. You are such a light in these dark times. Even in your fractured time of life you are a light. You keep shining no matter how dim things get around you. Keep on keeping on.
I read through this and I continue to pray. We don’t know what will happen but we know that Jesus is with you. He said I will be with you always, to you, your husband, and to each one of your girls. I send love to you and your family.
Donna tells me she is coming over to your home on Friday to do your hair. That always makes a person feel a little better. I am coming over to visit her this week-end.
Jennifer, I am always amazed at your inner strength and that touch of humor that shines through. God is using your journey to impact my life. I will be praying for all the things that you mentioned. Have a wonderful visit with Toms parents.
Thanks so much for the update friend! Continuing to pray for you and yours and specifically for the gut issues to subside for you… thank you for the bright shining light you are in these difficult times!
Bless you, Jennifer. What a courageous warrior are you! Iâm praying for your spirits to remain up above your circumstances and your joy and humor to abound. May God help with your âeliminationâ!!
You are so strong! One of the things I admire about you is how you always seem to find good no matter the situation. Iâm so happy that you are happy with your treatment plan and care. And Iâm excited you have some visitors coming – enjoy!
Well….lots of medication but praise the Lord for them! So glad to hear things are working in your favor and the added equipment that can make life simpler and even safer for you. My prayer is that you can get to a point that you can remain comfortable while you live out this journey and have a healthy happy future ahead of you!!! It is OK to have weak moments, for sure, and wonder why and when etc. Just remember to walk by faith and not by sight. Sometimes what we see can be really hard to face. As you walk, God wants you to hang tight to His hand and find peace in trusting Him as the sovereign, loving, patient, wise, gentle and caring God that He is walking you and your family faithfully and confidently through each day. Love you and wish a pain free week.
What a nice opportunity to get to visit with family, praying that will be a joyful time for everybody.
Prayers continue for all your families needs and care.
Hugs
Praying for you all! Glad youâll have a chance to visit with family!
Lifting you up in prayer right now. Praying blessings on your time with Tom’s family and that you get some relief with your current issues. I miss you. I love you.
So happy you are home. Itâs so nice that you are with your family that loves you so very much . Jennifer you are such a strong young woman. You have had so many Challenges with each challenge you have always thought positive with deep thoughts and each decision you made with thought what is best for your family . Like I have said from the beginning you Jennifer Small are a strong woman . Praying for you as always .â¤ď¸
Praising the Lord they helped you with both your pain and your âeliminationâ issues! Thatâs a lot of meds, but if they help then itâs all what you need now! I hope youâll feel well enough for the appointment with the clinical trial people too soon! Hoping youâll both enjoy some visiting and also some time to rest as I can imagine that more hands around the house (family always pitches in, right?) will help you get to rest more. I know you hope to do as much as you can and donât forget that fighting to regain health is an additional time and energy taker!! You just have added an additional responsibility to your life (well, you didnât ask for it, but itâs the reality)…hey, now weâre not only port sisters, weâre also long reach toilet helper buddies – what a club we belong to! The cane is a great idea..I donât think it means youâre old, but that youâre wise. The last thing you need to do is fall. Do what you need to, friend, while you fight. Continuing to read your updates and pray for you all!
Hahahaha!!!! I love our little club.
I am praying for you and our entire St. George community is, as well!
I love you, friend!
Laura
Jen, you always blow me away with your realness! I am so in awe of you and your positivity. I know God has given you the ability to look past the rotten parts of cancer and forward to what the future holds – no matter whether that’s a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years.
I will be praying specifically that you will get all cleaned out and feel better. Just think of all the weight you’ll lose and without even having to diet! (I’m sorry, I know it’s not funny and is a very painful situation, but I hoped you might appreciate a tiny bit of humor.)
Love and prayers always,
Bonnie
Anything, besides praying, a long ways a way friend can do?
Continued prayers for you and your family! You are strong and amazing and you do find the joy and good in the âsmallâ stuff which is really huge. So happy you are home and will have some visitors.
Jennifer – I don’t know you – I’ve never even met you! But I “accidentally” stumbled on your blog several years ago – knowing that for followers of Jesus, there are no accidents. I’ve been praying for you ever since. I probably won’t meet you here on earth, since I live in the Midwest. But I look forward to getting to know you in heaven. I pray that you will experience strength and courage from Jesus as you face each day. God bless you and your family!
Hi Sally. Nice too “meet” you. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸. I love that she found me online!
Thank you, Jennifer, for teaching me to be thankful in all circumstances. I am now doing something I have never done before; I am thanking God every time I have a BM. đ No kidding! We take so much for granted, even when it’s a rather unpleasant part of our lives. May God grant you RELIEF, help from all of these meds, and peace and joy at some point in each day. You don’t always have to be “positive” or “happy” to be a positive influence in our lives. Still praying for you as I am awake several times each night.
Ha! We do take little things like that for granted, don’t we?