Scanxiety – (Noun) The feeling of terror and dread that one experiences as they await the results of a scan, once again faced with the possible return of cancer.


It’s a word I had never hear until about a year ago.

It’s real. Oh my…is it real.

Here’s how my days have gone the past few days…my mind starts worrying that the PET scan will light up like a Christmas tree, showing the cancer has returned…stop thinking that and remind myself that the Bible says not to worry, but to pray about everything.  And even if the cancer has returned, remember that God will be with us through whatever treatment is ahead. REPEAT.


Is it OK to hate my port?

What a question to ask, right?  Can I hate my port?  Because if that’s ok, I really do.  Especially after today.

For my PET scan, they have to inject me with a radioactive glucose.  Unfortunatly, my port was clogged (UGH!!!!!), so she had to give it to me in my arm.  Not a big deal, except that after the scan, I had to go up to the infusion center and have it declogged.  If I get good news from the Dr. on Friday, I’m ready to be done with this port.   (more…)

My Journal for 9-11-2017

Good morning Lord.

I come before you, overwhelmed a bit this morning.

Yesterday morning, Dave McCorkell died.  My heart is breaking…all day yesterday and today I have been thinking of Debbie, Kristen and Kim and what a hard day it was for them (and will continue to be).  I remember the day my Mom died so well.  It’s hard to be so far away from a friend who is hurting.

There has been severe flooding in Texas from Hurricane Harvey, and last night, Hurricane Irma hit Florida.  There is so much devastation.  Yet through it all, I see believers trusting you and proclaiming that You are good, all the time!

Today is 9/11.


2 Appointments today

I met with my Oncologist today for a quick check-up.  He moved my bone strengthening infusion to every 3 months instead of every 6 weeks and I will be having a PET scan on October 4th (about a year from my last one).

So far, no pain with this new pill, but I am having some fatigue.  I thought I was just tired from summer, but when I rest, or even when I get up in the morning, I’m still tired and feeling a little week.  The Dr. ordered a blood test to check my iron level and thyroid and they came back normal.  So we are going to see how the fatigue plays out in the next month or so. (more…)

Where We Go From Here…

Before I get into the Dr. appointment I had with the Oncologist today, let me say a little bit more about Friday night and the PET Scan results.

I had asked the Dr. before if he would give me the PET Scan results over the phone, but he said he prefers to do that in person.  On Friday, I sent Tom a text saying I was nervous about the results and wish we didn’t have to wait through the weekend.  He suggested I just call and ask again.  It was 4:30 pm, but I called and left a message, telling myself I wouldn’t read anything into it if he didn’t call (which I expected he wouldn’t based on our last conversation.)

Then, Friday evening, as I was sitting and watching our oldest in her dance class, my phone rang.  It was a number from Renton.  I knew it was him.  He asked if it was a good time to talk and I said yes.  He said he had some good news to start off my weekend.  Woohoo!!  He said the scan was totally clear.  On the last scan (after chemo but before surgery and radiation) there was still a light haze over where the cancer had been.  This scan, there was no haze and he said if I hadn’t had surgery, you would never have known I had cancer from looking at the scan.